Suksy's Pensieve

It is 3 years since we met, since we heard each other's voice, since you last smiled, since I last cried, since I felt truly cared for, since I felt truly caring... Today, in 2004, you sent me to office without telling me that it would be the last time I would ever speak to you.. And you asked me to come back from office midway knowing pretty well and doing pretty well to stay till I returned... you spent the last 10 minutes with me holding my hand... and that was it! Miss you Dad.. Had never thought I would really miss you, but it is something these days that makes me feel that if you were here, It would be really wonderful! Am sorry for letting you go, for bringing you to Bangalore to live with me, for ignoring your health.. Please forgive me! Please forgive those thoughts that came into my mind that I am better off now than if you were ever here... Please forgive your son who misunderstood your love and thought you did not have confidence on him! Missing you more than ...

Benazir Bhutto is assassinated, Blasts at her rallies, Gunshots at Nawaz Sharif's rally... All that in our neighbouring country of Pakistan... I have been reading the book "In the Line of Fire" by Gen. Pervez Musharraf in which he tries to glorify his acts and the coup using which he ousted Nawaz Sharif citing reasons as to why he felt Nawaz Sharif was not a worthy person to lead Pakistan. He also says that Mr. Bhutto (Sr.) and Mr. Nawaz Sharif, both were incapable of leading Pakistan. As soon as I got the breaking news about Benazir Bhutto's assassination, the first thought that came to my mind is that it was the ideal way to have Politics.. Remove all your enemies.. at the same time, give a speech about a fortnight earlier to that extent of  warning them of the security lapses that might happen and then, make it appear as a "terrorist" attack... Waah re Waah.. Good.. and you think politics is only about money??? It is about retaining power as well.. ...

There is this dialogue in the movie Bunty aur Babli... in which Abhishek Bachchan says "duniya mein doh tarah ki log hotein hai, ek woh jo duniya ke marzi se jiye aur doosra woh jo apni tarah se jiye aur duniya ko apni taraf kheech laaye" or some such thing! Today, I am having the same feeling... Life is always like a coin having two sides.. either you win or the other person wins.. (NOTE: You don't lose!) Either it comes your way (you make it come your way) or it takes you its way! Having read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, Anthem and many such similar books, I decided that I will lead life my way.. be Egoistic, be Selfish and be happy! And am quite successful in a sense by adopting that philosophy. I have not bothered about anyone's feelings as long as I get my work done, as long as I am true to myself, as long as I don't need to compromise or do some remote thing similar to a compromise! I have had many a scuffle with many a person over this, but I have b...

I had earlier made a post on secularism ... How stupid I was then... I had not bothered to verify the same. Now, recently, I finished reading a book abt Nathuram Godse and Mahatma Gandhi. In this book, the author had dealt with both these personalities and had pointed out how good they both were and how equally stupid their decisions were which led to the death of both these people. I earlier, would not have pointed to Mahatma Gandhi as "Mahatma" but this book made me realise how much of a good person he was and I have started calling him "Mahatma". This does not mean I am his fan and definitely does not mean that I was hating him earlier. Mistakes happen by everyone and by LEADERS, mistakes make more damage. To Err is Human.. and LEADERS are Human too.. Putting myself in their shoes by reading about them and trying to imagine what I might have done in their place if I was having such a situation and none else to cater to it, I might have taken the same decisi...

I am an avid reader.. will keep reading anything that I can lay my hands on... I will not bother abt the genre or the type or the number of pages or the content in the books. I read: Ayn Rand Ravi Belegare RK Narayan Harold Robbins Irving Wallace Ian Fleming John Grisham Alfred Hitchcock Arthur Hailey Sydney Sheldon JK Rowling Auto-biographies (From Christopher Reeve to Musharraf and Adolph Hitler) Sigmund Freud Mark Twain Kuldip Nayar Kushwant Singh Dan Brown Mario Puzo Enid Blyton Theological stuff (like Swami Sukhabodhananda, Osho, Paramahamsa Yogananda, Normal Vincent Peale etc.) Essays (of Amartya Sen, APJ Abdul Kalam etc.) Innumerable Kannada Novels including SL Bhairappa, BV Anantharam, Yendamoori Veerendranath, UR Ananthamoorthy, Girish Karnad, Beechi etc (Thanks Ananth for pointing this out!) Any eBook that I can lay my eyes on :) .... .... .... The list is never ending....

I'm sure many would agree with me that the thing that two-wheelers dread while riding bikes after hours is the blazing headlights of vehicles approaching them! My daily route back home @ 11PM is two-ways through and through, not properly lit and with all vehicles approaching me and very few driving in the same direction as I am! The reasons why I dread late-night driving/riding are: Innumerable Potholes on the road which go by unnoticed till the last moment, causing extensive damage to your bike as well as to your back! Mindless humans crossing the roads without bothering to check for any approaching traffic and with an air of extreme confidence that none would cause them hurt Stray Dogs, either sleeping on the roads or chasing two-wheelers or scavenging for food near garbage bins or chasing another stray dog, either for mating or for displaying their territorial aggression. Now, if a human comes in front of your vehicle, chances are that both of you stop, glare at ...