Suksy's Pensieve

Languages

2012-01-06T22:33:00.001+05:30

Well, this came as a shocker to me today.. I realized that my command over the English Language has gone for a toss, either because of FB or because of twitter or because I'm using too many expletives.

Whenever I used to interact with folks earlier, they used to commend me for my language.. and I used to take pride in being an alumnus of the CFTRI school in Mysore.. One of "THE BEST SCHOOLS EVER!!!".

It so happened that if someone had deleted my phone number and I started interacting with them in English, they used to recognize me immediately... Probably, the first ever name they used to utter in a reply to an sms would be "Is this Sukumar"?

Now, it is happening the other way around.. They never take my name.. and If I start sms'ing them in Kannada, they realize it is me!

It is not that I am not happy with this fact.. I am happy coz my Kannada has improved and though I am not a Kannadiga by race, I am a Kannadiga by birth. I am an Iyer by race but my interest towards Tamil was never as good as my interest towards Kannada.. These days, I adore the language and the grammatical purity of it..

However, I realize that learning something new, does not mean I need to lose on something that I have already learnt.. Esp if it is a language.. It is bound to be deep rooted in one's soul..

Your brain is not like a removable storage device that if the storage space fills up, you delete a few files in it to continue using the device.

Speech, Reading and Writing were supposed to be something that should have been involuntary when you use it now.. That is the basic reason why they were taught to you in School. How can you even make mistakes in these basic actions of life?

A friend while chatting, told me: "Ishtondu kannada Use maaDthiddre neene antha gotthaithu"!! Earlier folks used to tell me: "Eno, bari English nalle maathaaDthiyaa.. Kannada barolvaa? Athava maathaDokke ishtaa illvaa??"

But this issue has never happened with Tamil or Hindi... the other languages that I use. My tamil was laughed upon earlier, even today, it is being laughed upon. Same is my Hindi usage.. it was laughed upon earlier.. even now, I am taunted with the way I use a few words / create my own sentences in these languages. That is not much of a worry for me.. But English? and Kannada? These are supposed to be like the back of my palm..

I have determined that I am going to bounce right back.. I will not let myself be taunted while I use these languages. Let me improve. Help me improve. Please....

The Truth - "Kannada Barutha"??? Kannada barbeku!

2008-10-21T17:11:00.003+05:30

"Kannada Barutha??", ah! I am sure most of you in Bangalore would have heard this, but what is "kannada barutha?" here it goes. Bangalore the IT capital of India , the silicon city and now a Metro city opened its gates to almost all kinds of people. Very evidently the recent poll census proved that there are only 47% of original inhabitants in Bangalore/bengaluru. The life style of the city has seen a gradual change with Pizza Corners replacing MTR's, classy eat out's replacing "Vidyarthi Bhavans" and flashy pub's replacing all our "Mahalakshmi wine shops".

"Change is inevitable" from the days of BEML, HAL and BHEL to INFOSYS, WIPRO; Bangalore has a new look now on the world map. Gone are the days where a typical Sunday for any bangalorean was a nice romantic walk on the pavements of "LALBAGH...", "rave idli and coffee.." at the nearest yet old looking MTR and a wonderful Annavra film either at Santosh or central 'talkies'. Today's Bangalore is deluged in traffic, stress and pressure, Saturday nights without beer is desolate and a Sunday without a visit to either a nearest spa or health clinic is schlocky!! The gandhibazar's are now AC cooled super markets, majestic is now replaced by ultra modern and diversified Brigade road, sri cauvery coffee joint is now Coffee days.. and "Bhagyalakshmi coffee adda.. is now barista. With globalisation and more retail market the city will definitely see more forceful changes.

Have all these changed our language? Kannada the local language of Bangalore is supposed to be one of the most meaningful language, it also has an unique script as compared to its other counterparts; but how many percentage of people really use Kannada in Bangalore now? The figures are staggering, only 37% of people speak kannada in the state's capital, for rest it is only "Kannada barutha?"

I am not biased in mentioning here that some inhabitants who are living in namma bengaluru from the past 15/20 years still don't speak Kannada. The only terms that they know in Kannada is "kannada barolla" or "yeshtu" or "hogbeku". They will climb an auto and say "market hogbeku" or "rate yeshtu" and if the driver tries to strike up a conversation with them, the next phrase is "kannada barolla". WTF guys? You are here.. don't force us to be like MNS. We have a KaRaVe here but we are still open minded.

Any normal guy starts with this sentence "Kannada barutha?" while talking to other person, people confirm before they speak the language. You want to ask an address in Bangalore ? Or reply to a question then English is the most preferred language other than Hindi. It's a famous fact that two kannidagas in an IT company always talk in a neutral language!! even the vendors and shop keepers are channeled with this new wave, the moment when you step in any shop in Bangalore , you are always asked "Kannada barutha?" or the entire conversation takes place in non kannada languages. People have lost the confidence of speaking in the local language and more over speaking Kannada on the streets of "M.G road "or "kormangala" is substandard.

Shopping malls in the city have been completely banned from using Kannada, not a forced one but definitely an adapted one. One has to confirm that the other person knows the language before he starts using any language. "ondu glass beer" is a insult when it comes to any decorous pub in Bangalore . "Swalpa menu card kodthira..??" has been replaced by "Can I have the menu card pls...?"

Just to hit some facts, marathi is still the largest and common speaking language in mumbai even though mumbai has the highest no of inhabitants. Telgue is a practised ritual in yet another IT HUB Hyderabad . When it comes to tamil nadu, beware you can be alive either if you are a fan of rajnikanth or you know tamil. Malyalam runs in the blood of every mallu be it Kuwait , dubai or any hospital; but when it comes to kannada it is always "kannada barutha?" and next is "namaskara."

I am not a Kannada activist neither I run any Kannada supporting organisation, I am just a plebeian who just love the language. Globalisation is the trend and modernisation is the mantra but at the cost the language? Sounds no logic.. is speaking kannada down market? The answer has to be found within oneself. Next time when you hear "kannada barutha?" you just remember that "kannada runs in your blood.."

This mail is in English, only because it can be read by non Kannadigas and understand how much we love our language.

This post is a forwarded email that I received.. I have made an addition there in the midst of the post.. This is absolutely true, esp. in today's instance.. Kannada / Kannadigas are looked down upon wherever you go.. But if you look at it, it is more of our own mistake than anyone elses..

We see a tamilian speaking on the road and we approach him and speak to him in tamil only, to make him feel comfortable and to show him that we know an additional language. This is just not the case in TN.

We do the same mistake with a "Northi" - we approach him and ask him "bolo bhaiyya, kyaa chaahiye aapko". Where have we spoken our language in front of others? Why are we so careless about our own language? Is it that we do not respect it? And when we do not speak our own language in offices and streets and when conversing / commuting, how can we expect immigrants to speak our language?

Bengaluru - Fun place to live in

2008-08-25T09:12:00.008+05:30

This post is an ode to Bengaluru - Inspired by constantmotion. Though I might not be able to put my thoughts in a poem, I would definitely put it in paragraphs.

This post was framed in mind during the first bengaluru tweetup which was named as "chat over chaats"! We are expecting more pics of the same.. till then, a few of the pics are here here and here. and

The idea was just to meet and have fun. This was in the pipeline from the past 3 months. What started off as a discussion between @hnprashanth (of techbangalore) and @pqrshanth (of payaniga) was interrupted by me who thought of joining in for the chaats @ the chaat street.

This blogpost is being completed after bengaluru had its second tw-eat-up.

A few pointers abt namma bengaluru are listed below.. This list is definitely not exhaustive and is purely my view of the things here:

You can compose a blogpost on the way to office - courtesy traffic jams in namma bengaluru!
People honk on the roads though there are no vehicles in front of them
There are alternate routes to reach the place in question, but not many people know of them and not many people take them.. at times, you can reach from silkboard all the way to Basavanagudi without going through a signal or getting stuck in a traffic jam
If you think you can see hot babes in bikinis or topless beaches when you hear the name FLORIDA, you will be shocked to know that you have a NURSING institute named FLORIDA in HRBR Layout, Bangalore
People are so dedicated to their work that they drive to office one handedly, the other hand, no not on a call, but in a sling after having had a fracture!
You wait at the same signal for 4 consecutive green lights and you pass the signal at the 5th green light - esp. in ring roads or near BTM Layout
Your vehicle starts moving after the signal turns red - in almost all the traffic junctions, unless you are leading all the traffic and are waiting in the first lane during the signal
In a 22 seater van, you have only 1 girl and 6 guys sitting incl. the driver -- economies of scale or is it LUCKY Girl???
You have scumbag bosses who feel that if you work continuously for a couple of months without taking any leave, your productivity will go down!
There are roads on which the traffic would be at a snails pace at times, but on which you can go at 80/90KMPH at times during the day time itself e.g. JC Road
You can jump signals during day time and might be caught while jumping signals at night!
When you are doing drunken driving, cops might not stop you, but when you are in a hurry to get home and you are not drunk, you will be stopped thrice, within 1 KM.
A cop who asks for RC book would not recognize it if you present the original one.. he would be used to only checking the xerox copy of it. (Courtesy @pqrshanth)
Though Bars / Restaurants are supposed to be open till 1130PM, if you go into a Bar at 1030PM and ask him to serve you food (without drinks), he would say Kitchen closed sir!
Not many people know that BTM Layout is the acronym for Byrasandra, Tavarekere and Madivala Layout - called so as it borders all the three mentioned areas.
There are parks for walking in almost every locality and there are a lot of fitness oriented people walking their fat out in these parks.
You can see PDA happening in every nook and corner here and though it is so common, you can also observe people gaping as though they have never seen a guy and a gal hugging on the street!
Street Harassment happens, not only by guys to gals but also vice versa, esp, near colleges.
People stand in Queues outside pizza outlets/chinese restaurants during weekends after 900PM. Before that, the eateries would have seating space.
You book a restaurant in your name, esp. in Koramangala and you end up finding that when you reach the restaurant someone has already taken your place!
Bangalore traffic remains the same even during weekends when the so called bengaluru junta would be going out, but their population would be compensated by the junta coming from nearby villages and towns to look @ bengaluru.
Bangalore North and Bangalore South have the maximum number of eateries.
Where even cars of cops are not let to be parked at NO Parking areas :

(Pic Courtesy a friend of mine through a forwarded email)

Where "For Rent" Boards are fixed even before the building is completed
Cops ask you whether you are drunk and even if you say YES, they let you off based on the slur in your voice and the smell of ur breath
Traffic cops ask you for your DL and have the nerve to ask you if you have kept your DL "at Home or with you?"
Traffic cops suggest you not to take a matter seriously in case of an accident and just chill, to close the matter mutually
The traffic cops are real helpful to guide you during the day and to get you out of any soups that you might land up in.
Not all cops accept bribes... and a very few who do accept it, won't definitely demand for it.
Where parking tickets are attached inside restaurants for the refrigerators
Where multiple helmets are attached to a bike for convenience sake
Schools have Independence Day parades and practices in September and October too at times, same goes for Republic Day - in February and March
Kannada Rajyotsava is celebrated not only on 1st November but for months later than that.. at different localities on different dates!
Ganesh Chaturthi puja is done after a week of the festival getting over - probably coz of the advantage of lesser cost of idols!
Cycles too have number plates here
It is a tech city for sure coz advertisements of ERP being sold is put on buses
If you try to do manual labor, people look down upon you. Even your prospective employer checks if you are in a right state of mind when you go asking for employment
You have an authentic punjaabi dhaba in the centre of the city at Ulsoor - the minimum waiting time during a weekday for lunch is 45 mins.
You have a "ANDHRA STYLE PUNJAABI DHABA" at Hebbal - I never knew something like ANDHRA STYLE PUNJAABI could even exist.

I'll update this as and when I get more points to add.. And as mentioned earlier too, this is not an EXHAUSTIVE LIST!!!

UPDATE: 27th August 2008

The weather / climatic conditions here are just amazing. Hot and sunny in the morning and all day long, and it would rain only at the time people start towards home daily.. is this Murphy's Law in place?
A road, that looks awesome during the day time when dry, would become invisible under 3 feet of water when wet! And scary part is you never know which pothole is open where and which manhole is open where!
The weather would take a drastic change all of a sudden without prior intimation which makes it a great place to have the practice as a doctor - a general physician at that!
Namma bengaluru has so many "covered" manholes that even with a slight falling of rain, the BWSSB would be put to action by overflowing of the sewage and the drainage!

Whatever it is, I still love this place!!!

Love or Infatuation

2008-07-20T18:47:00.002+05:30

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.

Love, on the other hand, is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows - one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity, you are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real, it gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warned by his/her presence, even when is away. Long distances do not separate you. You want him/her near, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him/her."

Love says, "Be patient, Don't Panic. He/she is yours. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy.

Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away, you wonder if he/she's cheating. At times, you even check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatening. He/She feels that trust and it makes him/her even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later, Love never will.

Infatuation is almost always one sided but there can be no one sided love, love is love only when it is reciprocated

Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

Change is constant

2008-07-14T09:04:00.004+05:30

The most common of bumper stickers on cars is "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN". The latest FAB in them is "CHANGE ME IF YOU CAN", probably of an EGOISTIC person like me! If I get a car, I would put that sticker on for sure. ;)

Everyone is scared of change, but they would eventually change and blame it on the circumstances that caused them. They say, I would not have changed, if it were not to be that shit and this shit. C'mon buggers, grow up. Open your eyes and admit the truth that you were too scared of standing against the flow.

There are quite a few incidents in life that will make you change or that will give you an opportunity to change. You should recognize those opportunities and change. There are quite many incidents in life that will ask you to change, but you could continue the way you were earlier without causing much damage. There are other incidents which give you an opportunity to change the course of events post those incidents. You could grab at them and change the course of future events.

There are a lot of examples that I can quote for CHANGE. Lemme first give you a few of the quotes that are available on the net:

This one is always in my email signature:

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

Another one goes as follows:

Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix.

Anything that you notice people doing out of the normalcy and ask them, they would respond that "Just for a change!" Ask them why they want a change, they would either not answer or will mumble something incomprehensible.

Nobody can change anything in anyone. Change can be brought about only if the person heeds to it. You can remain without changing and if your psyche is strong enough, you will succeed in remaining the same without changing. It is all in your psyche.

There cannot be any reasons for change... it happens coz U let it happen. It's as simple as that!

Lemme tell you that initially, I was homophobic, but then, I met this guy who was gay and who carried himself off so well that it was just normal for him to be gay just as normal as it is for us to be straight/bisexual. So, that required a change of outlook. There are a lot of people who still look as if you are some extra terrestrial being if you just say you have homosexual friends. The thought here is to be changed and not the way you interact.

There is a saying in Kannada that goes "ಗುಂಪಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಗೋವಿಂದ" which means you just follow the crowd blindly without even thinking whether the crowd is right or wrong. Unfortunately for us, more than 80% of the people do this. The remaining 20% are being ignored coz they choose to stand apart from the crowd. Guess 20% is too huge a number... I would break it up into 15% who are confused whether to stand by their own or to follow the group and the other 5% who stand by their own.

The best thought that comes to my mind now is the one that is mentioned by Ayn Rand in her famous book "ATLAS SHRUGGED" as the speech by John Galt. That is what I stand by, That is what I follow.

Also, there is another interesting conversation in the book "ANTHEM", which goes like:

"It is my eyes which see, and the sight of my eyes grants beauty to the earth. It is my ears which hear and the hearing of my ears gives its song to the world. It is my mind which thinks, and the judgement of my mind is the only searchlight that can find the truth. It is my will which chooses, and the choice of my will is the only edict I must respect."

For people who can go into the depth of the above-mentioned statement, this means a lot and for others, this statement means stupidity! For me, this comes from the heart.

I completely agree to this statement and I would say that this means it is your life that you are leading and it is advised that you choose between the options and change for the better if you feel that the change would being about something better in you. Else, you remain yourself and at-least, be true to yourself.

I dunno if this post is justifying the 4 odd weeks that I took to compose this one.. but hell, who cares! :P

Money....the magic

2008-06-09T17:02:00.002+05:30

It's all about money.. honey!

My cousin used to say that whatever comes, it first comes to your pocket/wallet and then to your psyche. Later would it come to your physical being. He was scolded by one and all when he used to speak like this, but it is nothing but the truth that he used to utter.

Thinking about the same, if you fall ill or if someone of your closest circle falls ill, the first thing that hurts is your wallet/bank balance coz you need to spend on taking him/her to treatment etc etc. Then comes your psyche when you would get worried about how you would take care of that person. Then comes your physical strains of having to shuttle between office, home and clinic/hospital.

However, it is not that much of a different scenario if you fall ill. No wonder you will be physically tired and psychologically tired after hearing to every tom, dick or harry abt how to get treated or which doctor to approach for the perfect treatment, you will hurt even more by your wallet.

Lemme tell you that I found a very convenient time to fall ill at the end of last month. Salary not having been credited, no balance @ bank, no money @ home, the first impact was to the wallet naturally. The next impact was to the psyche coz I had fallen ill due to some neurological disorder (I guess) and whether I could have lied @ home and @ office not to make them get worried coz of my sake.

I was absolutely normal. I have been getting these kind of feelings on and off from the past 4/5 years. I have not bothered about this coz if it were to be something serious, it would not have lasted for 4/5 years. And if it is not serious, what is the use of getting it treated / shown to a doctor? One day, I was unable to sit @ office or ride my bike back home. So, asked my colleagues to drop me back home.. That triggered it all... My sis and mom were so worried that immediately, 8 - 10 phone calls were made to all known people and addresses / contact details of doctors were collected, a taxi was booked and I was rushed to a clinic in Jayanagar. Thankfully, the doc had left for the day already. So, I got a respite that day.

But unfortunately for me, both my colleagues and the people in my house forced me to get an appointment the next day with a neurologist, who promptly asked me to get a CT Scan and an EEG done, the reports of both were Normal. Then, he concluded this as a migraine. I don't get any headache. The neurologist did not inform how this started or why is it happening on and off from the past 4/5 years. He just prescribed me 90 tablets (30 * 3) and has asked me to sleep for a minimum of 7 hrs on consumption of the tablets. I dunno why, but ever since I started consuming the tablets, I've lost sleep.

So, losing sleep coz of tablets and making people @ home losing sleep and losing sleep even more coz I spent 3500/- bucks when It was not worth it... This entire episode SUCKS!

Now, to add to my woes, we got a mail from our executive director that our company is in a financial crunch and only 50% of our salaries would be credited to our account. WTF??? Should everything happen at the same time?

Without any money, how do I watch Sarkaar Raj? How would I repay my debt to my sister? How do I give her a proper send off?? How would I ever survive this month?

My dad, when he was alive, was mentioning that man lives on hope. Yeah right.. but if the hopes are crashed, would he not even die of hope???

Wish I would not have gone home that day by taking the help of my colleagues. If only I had gone home alone, it would have saved 3500/- plus the medicine costs of 300/- plus the doctor's consultation of 300/-.

There was a saying in Hindi, which goes thus:

"तुम राजा हो या भिकारी, तुमको तो है पैसे की बीमारी!"

The translation of the same is: "Be you a king or a beggar, money is your vice". Completely agree to that!

Why, even in HP7, Bellatrix Lestrange (Hermoine after consumption of Polyjuice Potion) is told by Travers that "Gold, filthy gold! We cannot live without it!"

Absolutely agree to the statement that MONEY IS EVERYTHING, AND YET NOTHING IF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IMPORTANCE TO GIVE TO IT! For me, at this stage, MONEY IS SOMETHING VERY VERY IMPORTANT. Atleast, till I come to a particular stage when I can say I have achieved something!

Relationships (2)

2008-05-26T16:33:00.001+05:30

In continuance of my previous post "Relationships", I got a huge comment from a friend of mine (Sudheer) which I did not publish coz I wanted the same to come as a blogpost. So, here goes. First the comment and then, my views on the same:

Hey suksi,

Liked ur interpretation on relationships and memories and the corresponding pain that follows as a natural corollary...

I feel that it is in our very basic desires that make us choose people as either our friends or hubby's

let me explain:

If " I " as a person likes biking " I " will go in search of people who do biking and try to build a relation so that " I "can get some one to understand 'my' thoughts or try find one who becomes a medium of expression for " Me ", a thought which gives " Me " pleasure and not that the other person likes biking or birding.

It is here where " expectations" start building up - like " I " would have a particular way of shifting gears and once someone becomes a friend " I " would start "expecting " that he shift gears like " I " do or that 'my' line of thought should more or less become his thinking.

If this does not happen or if he starts to put his interpretation to a particular event in his way.. " I " get hurt or " I "start disliking him.. not because he said what he felt but because he did not say what " I " was feeling.

We always try to host an image of ourselves in different people and like only those who cater to such " self hosting ".
which brings us to the ultimate truth of

" We love no one but ourselves "

Just because " I " see what " I " want what " I " like what keeps 'me' happy in many people in bits and pieces " I " imagine to have a relationship.

And when such relationships break.. We get hurt.. It pains.. and we feel sorry not because we lost a friend but because we lost a " host " to our feelings/wants/desires...

This becomes more aggravated when one looses a girlfriend.. not because that we will no longer see her smile or listen to her talks etc... but because no longer " I " will be able to kiss her, " I " could f*** her, " I " will be able to fondle her t***, " I " will get a consoling talk and " I " " I " " I " " I " " I " ...... goes on an on and on...

What do you say...

Well, here's what I say my dear friend..

First of all, thank you for taking the time off to read my blog in your busy schedule and give such a huge and wonderful comment on the same.

Next, I'd say that you are a bit confused as to where friendship ends, where love ends and where lust happens. Also, not all relationships of a boy/girl friend would be related to sex or making love or having lusty thoughts in their minds.

I have a few female friends of mine whom I address as "honey", "sweetheart" and "darling".. that does not mean whatsoever that I am in love with them or they are in love with me, or that I have lusty thoughts in my mind about them. I also know a lot of boy/girls who are boy/girl friends of various other people and they got physically intimate only after a couple of years into the relationship. I also know a few people who have only lust in their minds and would never enter a relationship unless they are forced to do so!

And I do not understand the use of * there in the comment.. why could you not mention the words as they are used normally?? Are you thinking what people might feel if they came to know that you had given such comments??? I'm sure, you would not say w***r for water or w**e for wine right???

Yeah, it is true... Everyone lives as per their own whims and fancies.. and everyone loves to have their own reasons for either being in a relationship or being out of one. A few people get into a relationship for fun, a few others get into one without knowing what they are doing, a few others are pretty serious abt their relationships, a few more are in a relationship coz someone has forced them to be in, a few others will get to know that they are in a relationship only when it is too late for them to come out of it, and they refrain from coming out of the same coz they have a constant fear towards CHANGE!

Again, this "I" is nothing but the EGO that speaks. How many people do you think would agree that they have an EGO which controls them? If you know any, tell them that they are EGOISTIC and SELFISH, they would retaliate mentioning that they do not have EGO. WTF do people consider EGO as bad?? I have no idea whatsoever.

I agree that I am EGOISTIC and in fact, that is the headline of my orkut profile too. I'd say that if I don't know how to love myself, I will never be able to love others or hate others or even hate myself for my shortcomings.

Again, the most important aspect in any human interactions is TRUST! If two people have TRUST in each other about each other, it is better than being in any kind of relationship.

I'm a certainty!

2008-05-14T14:58:00.001+05:30

Here I come with open hands,
Approaching people with a request to embrace me boldly,
Yet people try to run away from me,
Wonder why they are scared, though I am a certainty.

I'm so mean-minded, I don't go to all,
I don't accept people who come to me, yet I approach them all,
I want stuff to happen my way,
Wonder why I am like this, though I'm a certainty.

There are a very few people who come to me,
As openly and friendly as I approach them,
And I even accept them, whom I don't want to come to me
Wonder why people are impatient, though I'm a certainty.

I don't want any agents working for me,
Nor do I want to cause pain and agony,
I keep trying to make people accept me,
Wonder why they don't understand, though I'm a certainty

Yet there are agents working for me,
Oh hell, why do are these people so inhumane,
Coz they cause a lot of pain and agony,
Wonder why they act like this, though I'm a certainty

I treat everyone equally, be it friend or foe,
I visit everyone, be it animal or human,
I'm so fair and just at all times, yet being complained about,
Yeah, I'm death, and that's why I'm a certainty.

Relationships....

2008-05-09T21:26:00.001+05:30

Been quite a while since I posted... No, not that I had a lot of work.. No, not even that I did not have any topics to blog upon, and No, definitely not that I wanted to take a break from blogging.. Just that I was too lazy to sit and compose a post.

I have been a part (again, just a part) of many discussions related to relations / relationships / how to maintain them / what goes wrong / why it hurts etc etc... and thought it would be best if I do a post on the same.

A friend of mine has started blogging coz of my advice. One of her blogposts is about having expectations in relationships. I've always been of the opinion that "EXPECTATIONS LEAD TO DISAPPOINTMENTS, SURPRISES GIVE YOU HAPPINESS".

Another friend of mine just broke up after an affair of almost two years... and it was kind of tough for me to even speak to her coz I went through all the emotions yet again coz of my breakup after three years! But, I guess I succeeded in getting her back to normalcy.

Another friend of mine had a huge heartbreak coz of the reason that the guy on whom she had a huge crush on, just relocated out of town. She was more friendly with this guy and she was fearing what would happen if she confessed her crush / love to him.

Again, relationships are not only about love. I can categorize relationships into three different kinds:

Formal - With office colleagues; with business acquaintances; With people whom you don't know, but would like to get to know etc.

Informal - With friends; School-mates; Classmates; Course-mates; Uncles; Aunts; and so on.

Personal - With that special person - We can term this kind of relationship as LOVE!

I'm no expert in this.. but all that I am telling here is something that I've tried and I think I'm successful in bouncing back to normal in no time. Also, I assume that this is the best way to lead a normal life.

My first thought on my dad's death was as to why we have so many "Relatives" to give us pain when the connecting link of my "DAD" itself is non-existent anymore? Now, it is more than three years since dad's death.. and the relatives continue to be a pain in my life. I consider mine to be a close-knit family - Me, Mom, Dad, Sister. Sister got married, so she went out of my inner circle to a part of another family... and brought her husband (my brother in law) and her kids into my next circle. (BTW, my innermost circle continues to have "ME" and then, did mom,dad come. That explains why it was Me, Mom, Dad.)

Now, since Dad is not there anymore, my question, and rational one in my opinion, is that why should the relatives who were related to us through dad's side continue to bother us? Why can't I be left to lead my own life? Why should my mom be bothered with all their rants and troubles in life when she herself has a lot of rants / troubles in her life? Logic naa?? Lekin no, Mom does not agree to this... I dunno how to convince mom... but I am not going to stop trying.. I will try, try and try till I succeed!

Why do people get scared of getting into a good long lasting relationship? I can give only two reasons for that:

You are scared of losing that person
You consider yourself better off alone.

I belong to the second category. So, lemme analyse the first category once for justifying to myself as to why I belong to the second category:

By losing someone, You have two things to think of:

Why did the other person move away? Something wrong with me or something wrong with him/her?

Why can't I cope up with this loss? After all, he/she is just one amongst the millions of beings on the planet.. Why do I make this mistake every time? What should I do not to get this miserable feeling again?

Once you get the answers for the above points, it will be better for us to move on. Till you get the answers, it would be better not to think of something else.

Moving on, Is it fair if we keep expectations in relationships? Expecting something in a relationship so basic about the other person understanding your feeling is not et all wrong.. but at the same time, we need to also think as to are we understanding them? Did we ever think as to why the other person is not understanding us or what makes him/her act the way he/she does? Unfortunately, we see only our side of the coin and not theirs!

And in case we try to see their side of the coin, all that we do is assume stuff and rant about how dented / pathetic our side of the coin is... We dive deep into ourselves and bring out the most negative / pathetic side of ours to the front and think that the other person did not like us coz of this particular side of ours. This is hyper-pessimism. There is of-course another way to think.. To think that the other person did not realize our worth and that is the reason the other person did not bother to understand us as he/she was too inferior. This is hyper-optimism. Most of us are either in any of these corners. Any moderate thoughts on the same would be helpful, but how many of us think moderately?

Again, one more common thing that used to happen with me is that I used to assume that I suffer from "Bipolar Disorder". I know that I don't get hyper high or hyper low in any feeling, but yet, I faced all the symptoms of this disorder.

And if you feel that everyone is pushing you to the depths and you continue to feel miserable (like what I used to feel very often earlier), you think that you need to cease to exist as a social being, here's my answer to that. Just sit back and answer the following questions:

"Don't U think U are taking matters too deep into yourself and you are just dragging them too much? Why don't you just forgive and forget? Why are you so bothered abt this?"

The next step is to just start ignoring all those people who think that way. You need to get "Hyper-Optimistic" to get out of your "Hyper-pessimistic" moods. You know you are worth much more than what these dumb bastards think of you! Be with it! Don't just be bothered about all these chota stuff in life.. I know it is not as simple as it sounds, but that is the way it is supposed to be taken care of.

For me, all relations are a pain except the one of plain no-holds barred friendship... which is really hard to find! I'm glad to say that I have finally found a few people whom I can say "Friends for life". They blog, they share my sentiments on many things and they are just like I am... So, 3 cheers to me!

Regional cinema V/S Quality

2008-04-23T15:29:00.001+05:30

The title of this post seems to suggest that regional cinema and quality are two different things... so, lemme first clarify the same.

NOTE: I am talking only about Kannada Cinema.

There are quite a few films in recent times in Kannada that can be termed as "Quality Entertainment". Most of the other films can be termed as pathetic.

Is it because we do not have good storywriters? Or is it because we do not bother about the social message that the film should portray? I'd rather think it is more because of the latter.

If we lacked good storywriters, we would not have had even a single quality movie in Kannada. We do have many quality films. We did have wonderful movies in the past and I hope we will continue to have movies that provide wholesome family entertainment.

"OM" was one of the first Kannada films to portray violence in a mass scale, but it did have a wonderful social message that violence would not lead you anywhere and also that taking revenge for something on someone will hamper someone else's life.

Unfortunately, not many have realized the social message in this movie. OM triggered off a lot of violent movies, all with either violent or tragic endings and the movies glorified violence. A few months back, I was unable to see any movie trailer without violence or without the use of a "lang" or a "macchu" or a "cycle chain" or some "nin akkan/amman" terms. "Dialogue King" Saikumar started the trend of vulgar / slang abuses in movies which continued with Thriller Manju and then, we started to have movie names like "Mental Manja, Duniya, Kariya, Jogi, Underworld, Gooli etc" which were portraying the anti-social elements as heroes in the movie.

Though these movies, probably, tried to bring out the message that violence will not do any good to you, just the thought of:

Having an entire movie which would be broadcast to the entire film watching people in Karnataka about a particular rowdy or
Roping in a few original rowdies to act in the movie and thereby, giving the opportunity for a rowdy to become a movie star
Glorifying a rowdy after his death by having a movie about his life

increased the number of potential rowdies in the city.

No wonder, a seemingly romantic movie like Mungaaru Male got such rare reviews. Personally, I feel that Mungaaru Male did not have a good story, but it was okayish for time pass. That increased the number of movies being filmed in Karnataka's scenic locations and the importance of music and lyrics in a movie.

There is a saying which says that all sheep will follow each other and will fall into the same ditch. Similarly, once Mungaaru Male became such a good hit, the number of similar films, the rating for the GOLDEN STAR, the hype of getting Hindi Mainstream singers like Sonu Nigam or Kunal Ganjawala or Kumar Sanu or Shreya Goshal or Sunidhi Chauhan to sing for Kannada movies increased by leaps and bounds.

Namma Bengaluru was portrayed by these violent movies to the movie goers in different parts of Karnataka to be:

Violent
24/7 active
Supportive to people of different places
Careless for any suffering

which was kind of good as it reduced the number of immigrants in one sense, but which was untrue to a great sense.

We did have wonderful film makers like Puttana Kanagal who gave a wonderful social message in their movies, Dr. RajKumar who acted so well that the common man was able to put himself in the character's shoes, wonderful lyrists like K Kalyan and we continue to have good movies and amazing lyrics, but the quantum of such movies which stand out today are very less.

There was also this season of tragic movies which dealt with orphans or "saas-bahu" types or even the "tabbali" series ov movies which wanted to bring some sense to the chauvinistic male to treat his wife/daughter-in-law/daughter as a human being. Then, there was this season of movies which had divine presence, so much so that people used to take fruits and flowers to the theatres to perform puja when the deity is portrayed on screen.

What do these movies contain when compared to Bollywood to say that Sandalwood (the term to Kannada Cinema Industry) is better than Bollywood if you still portray "Langs" or some half-dressed girls who are willing to get raped in any movie coz they are the hero's sister or the friend of the heroine etc. or even who are singing and dancing on screen without any purpose of their existence in a movie.

Bollywood movies are popular in a sense that:

There are a lot of Hindi-speaking population these days in any city
The films are made keeping in mind the changing tastes of youth
The films are not so cheap imitations of any other regional language movie or from a Hollywood movie
The actors know to ACT!
The violence is not glorified and there are a lot of other emotions in the movie which get glorified putting the violence aside.
The violence is more mature rather than having fist fights / "langs" or chains and the technology portrayed is also good.
There are many radical directors like Madhur Bhandarkar, Ram Gopal Verma etc who think out of the box.
The movies are made with a view to satisfy the various moviegoers from people who are aged to children.

No wonder Bollywood movies are eating into the share of regional movies. We need to have more mature and decent movies that do not glorify violence. We should have many more wholesome entertainers. We should have movies with better social messages than Death. We need to have better quality of comedy than having a "Senthil-Gaundamani" style or a few double meaning dialogues. And we should have more original movies than doing cheap and poor remakes of other regional films.

Just my 2 cents.

Love V/S Friendship

2008-04-22T18:05:00.002+05:30

A close friend of mine mailed me to ask the difference between love and friendship. The argument was something like this:

What is the difference between love and friendship? Aren’t they the same??

I often get confused between the two. Isn't love there in friendship or isn't friendship there in love??? I love my friends and the person who I love is my friend. Then what is it that makes them different…

Many believe that love is the basis of all relations. Shouldn’t that be friendship? Take any relation and it begins with friendship. The understanding between the siblings is developed because they are friends with each other. The teacher student relation is built because the teacher understands the student as a friend would. The mother understands the child because she gets down to the level of the child and tries to make the child feel comfortable and be friends with him. Even the great love stories like “ Laila Majnu “, began with friendship that blossomed in their early days.

I feel I often mistake love with friendship. When we say we are looking for true love, do we actually mean that we are looking for a true friend to share everything we have? The good and the bad both. They are so mingled. How do you differentiate between the two?

And my answer was:

There is love in friendship and there is definitely friendship in love. In my opinion, there is no difference between love and friendship. But one thing, love usually ends up in lust and friendship does not end et all.. We tend to say that we are looking for true love when the person whom we might have assumed to be "in love with" did not act as per your expectations. We tend to give a higher place to the person whom we are in love than with whom we are friends in our social scales. We tend to vie for that person's attention at all times. A lover gets pardoned more times than a friend. We tend to fight easily with friends coz of the affection and understanding we share with that person but with love, we tend to first forgive that person for a mistake.

We need to be real careful before we give the status of a lover to a friend.

It is just a psychological aspect.. if your mind instructs you to accept a person as a lover, it gives you an entirely different outlook on that person. But unfortunately, many people would not have these thoughts in their mind and that is the reason, there will be conflicts, depressions, devdas's etc getting created.. suicides happening etc.

Another very important thing to be kept in mind is that we would have spent only 1/3 of our lives with our parents, the rest 2/3rds should be spent with friend(s) whom we call husbands / wives / lovers / fiance / fiancee etc.

That's my take on Love and Friendship.

I continued the same conversation thru IM with another close buddy of mine and her opinion on love/friendship was awesome.. I am posting the same here:

First U have this extreme bonding with a person which 2 people have

When two people are such strong friends that they cant live without talking to each other for a whole day,

They have to do everything together & then one of them feels that he / she want be with the other forever ,

Then U start thinking whether this is love, then start imagining whether U' d be comfortable if U were to make love with that person..if the thought isn't uncomfortable then I think it is love.

But before that this bonding (friendship) has to develop.

15-May -- Deleted personal clues!

Corporate Image

2008-03-22T18:23:00.001+05:30

Image building.. How do you think it is possible? How can you expect a company image to be built overnight and how can you gain recognition worldwide when you have no name/image/recognition locally?

Imagine you've received a call from XYZ company for an interview and you have not heard that name. You want to visit the company coz you think that since it is a budding company, it would give you a better prospect of growth. What would be your image of the company if you come to the interview only to find that the interview is non-existent? The interview was scheduled earlier, but was cancelled at the last moment without intimating the candidates. Even the office security guys have not heard about the interview.

You go to that location assuming that there would be an interview but the building security person informs you that there is no interview and he does not know anything about a "walk-in" having been scheduled on that day for some position.

What would be your image of that company? What would you tell your friends about that company? What would you tell your future colleagues about that company? At the end of it all, what would you do if you get a call again from that company about the same post and another interview sometime in the near future? Would you be interested in attending it? Who is at loss? You or the company?

What image does the company portray to the external world? How can the image be built overnight if the company screw up every opportunity for the company to be familiar atleast locally? Isn't it stupidity on the company's part that it is not thinking about building its image locally and is trying for an international image?

The answer is evident... No more comments on this.

Is this gonna end???

2008-02-13T22:27:00.001+05:30

My dear peace loving mumbaikars... Don't you realise what you are doing??? Mr. Raj was arrested and somewhere else, in some corner of Maharashtra, one person was killed. Tens of thousands of people are fleeing Maharashtra in all the possible trains. Are you trying to replicate the Indian Partition??

Please realise that first, you all are Indians and an Indian has the right to live anywhere in India as per his whims and fancies, as long as he does not trouble anyone for his selfish interests.

Mumbai / Maharashtra / Any other place in India has improved due to people who work hard and people who strive for their livelihood. An industrialist, no matter earns profit and is able to lead a good life, but his first and foremost gift to the society was the financial risk that he undertook and the number of employment opportunities he provided. Each person is having his/her own worth and you should respect him for that.

What would a poor panipuri vendor do or a poor taxi driver do to hamper your ideal "Nava Maharashtra"? He also gives his bit to the society by giving them service and in return, he expects a hand-to-mouth existence. Are we so narrow-minded to not let him exist?

The entire economic condition of the state and thereby of the country is going to get affected due to this MNS violence / movement that is happening now, as per this report. Are you still sure that whatever you are doing is correct? Don't you realise what this means?? This means you are immensely stupid to realise what is happening around you and what you are trying to prove and how you are modifying your future beyond repair.

Mumbai is such a place that anyone who visits the place falls in love with it. It is not the mistake of Mumbai. Nor is it the mistake of the person. It is just what Mumbadevi, the resident goddess of Mumbai wanted to happen. You dumb idiots are praying for her blessings day in and day out, but at the same time, causing / creating havoc in the peaceful haven that is Mumbai... Aren't you people foolish?

C'mon people.. Grow up and realise that you all are INDIANS first and then, Maharashtrians.

LOVE...Happy Valentines Day

2008-02-09T13:59:00.001+05:30

Some Quotes on Love.. collected from friends, downloaded from the net etc.... on this occasion of valentines day.

"An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by fullness, not by reception."

"Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart"

"The power of a glance... It is in this way that love begins, and in this way only... Nothing is more real than these great shocks which two souls give each other in exchanging this spark"

"The best proof of love is trust. "

"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."

"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are. "

"We can do no great things; only small things with great love. "

"True love is when your heart and your mind are saying the same thing."

This is a part of a forwarded email that I am posting here...

"A girl in love asked her boyfriend.
Girl: Tell me... who do you love most in this world?
Boy: You, of course!
Girl: In your heart, what am I to you?
Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. In the Bible, it was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep; God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life; you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."
After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems. Their life became mundane. All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.
One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"
The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"
Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while.... He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up.
Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go..... She continued, "It is less painful this way...let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners..."
Five years went by.... He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly...... She had left the country and back....She had married a foreigner and divorced..... He felt anguished that she never waited for him. In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.
One day, they finally met.... At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good-byes.... He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.
Boy: How are you?
Girl: I'm fine. How about you... Have you found your missing rib?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back...You know my number... Nothing has changed.
With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye. "Good-bye." One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York. In the event that shocked the world.. Midnight..... Once again, he lit his cigarette..... And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart....He finally knew, she was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.
Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury..... Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental.... We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones.... And even though we know that we ought to "think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done. Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives.
Tomorrow may never come; give and accept what you have today."

One more forwarded email:

"Take sometime to read this, you will understand what is love...
Sometimes we are blind to see the goodness of our spouses and deaf to hear their kind words for us. A nice story to share......
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shocked.
"I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.
He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?
And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?"
Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.
Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"
He said:" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....
My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.." This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading..... "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your Tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.."
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... and as I continue on reading...
"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk...
I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread.... Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone... That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the dullest and boring form... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life... Love, not words win arguments..."

And yet another forwarded email on Love:

"It was the day of my son's XII results Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no bounds .
I wanted to call my "wrong-number-friend to tell him the news......I was so excited.
He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years.
I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called me when I blasted him for giving me so many wrong calls.....after that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day...even without knowing each other's names.Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did and so he kept a name...Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he called me 'Sweety'. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering student.
From then he used to call me very often . We almost discussed everything ..
By the final year of my college, we probably we were in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents about it?
........all these questions ran through my mind.
I decided I'll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I lied to him I that I was going to Delhi for my post graduation. He gave me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there.
I never called .......
A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my parent's choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number- friend.......
My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and never bothered my personal space. After 2 years we had a boy...Yet,I was not very happy with my married life...One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still had my old friend's office phone no that he had given me. I dialled it and spoke with him. He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad that I could not marry him.
From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble...
And till today I almost shared everything with him including my relationship with my hubby.....today I was so happy and I wanted to call him.
Just then I got a call. "Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot"
I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend.....I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him....
I felt I had been a bad wife........
A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married. I got them married as I did not want my son to go through what I did.
I decided to give my son his father's room and started clearing it. There was a phone book. I gently opened it to find, " Wrong no Sweety -26579785"
God always puts the right numbers together.
Its we who interpret it wrong!!!"

Yet another email:

"Ours was an arranged marriage. It was done the traditional way. Our parents took care of everything. My only condition was that she should be ready to work. Our horoscopes and photos were exchanged. Everything Matched.
I spoke to her over the phone. We talked about things two strangers would talk. She was a lecturer in Bangalore who felt Chemistry was more important than Hindi movies. There was no engagement. The date for marriage was fixed in 2
weeks as I could not get a vacation after that. Even the vacation time I got was just 10 days.
Everything was fixed. It was supposed to be very hectic for me. We got married and 2 days later we had to leave the country. She cried like there was no tomorrow when we left. She would not talk to me on the plane. I thought that was usual for an Indian girl. I thought she would get over
it. Once home she would not talk to me. She sat in a corner staring at the TV. For the first couple of days I had to catch up on some work and did not take her mood seriously.
A week later I sat beside her and asked her, "What is wrong?"
"Why did you bring me here?"
"What do you mean? What happened?"
"I want to go home"
"This is your home"
"No. I want to go home. Please buy me a ticket"
"Look, everybody feels homesick. I did when I! came here the first time. It is normal. You will get over it. Sorry I have been busy with work. We can go out this weekend. You will meet my friends and other people who will be very friendly. Come on be a good girl"
"I hate this place. I miss my family, my friends, my college. All the people I know are not here. I want to go home"
"Think for a minute. Try to reason it out yourself. What is your plan by the way? So you want to go back and never come back?"
"Yes"
"Are you crazy?"
"If you think this is crazy then I am."
"It is ok if you do not answer this question. Is there someone else?"
"No. I want to go home. I will call 911 if you do not send me"
"First cool down. Think about it. Think about our parents. It is less than a month that we got married and now you want to return home. You very well knew that you had to come here. What were you thinking? Even if you are returning home what happens to our marriage?"
"I am not blaming you. I take the blame. It is my mistake. I can't stay so far away from my family. If you are so interested come to India "
"I am family too! What you are asking is ridiculous."
The next day she would not change her mind. I called my folks. They said that it was my decision and! they would stand by me. I booked her ticket and put it in her hand the next evening. She was to leave in 2 days.Nothing would convince her to change her mind. She was crying like a kid. Then she left.
She had done nothing for me to miss but something inside me was telling me that I was at fault. I tried to shake it off but as time grew I started feeling more guilty. I called her. She made it clear that she did not find me despicable but she would not leave her city. Her parents apologized profusely but they were helpless too.
I have had crushes. None of them were serious. There was this girl in my high school tuition whose phone no I managed to find out. Then the prettiest girl in college whom everybody loved, who talked to me once. Then the girl from my city who was at my university in USA who made me feel at home when I visited her place. I had ignored them once! I crossed their paths. But Anjali was my wife. I could not ignore her.
I decided to quit my job. I went home. No one back home knew I was returning. I wanted to surprise her. I dropped off my bags at my place and went to the college she was teaching. The gate keeper would not let me in.So I had to wait outside for the classes to get over.
She walked out alone, struggling to carry her bag, tired, with slow steps. She was walking towards the bus stop. I silently followed her and went behind her and whispered, "Do you mind if I carry your bag?" She was startled and turned to face me. Her eyes lit up. I was not sure if I could hug her. I was smiling and she had a 100 questions written all over her face. "I want to spend a week with you in this city. Show me the things that you could not miss"
That one week went in a jiffy. She was treated a kid at home with all the comforts. That explained her behaviour. Coffee was brought to her in the morning. Even her dress was laid out for her. She would have breakfast and leave. The bus journey was an hour. She would sit near the window with a
book. Then once in the college she would teach her classes and come out tired in the evening. She would stand in the crowded bus carrying her bag which would look heavy. Then she would alight, go home, have a snack and would head out to a friend's place. Some times she'd stay home watching TV or listening to music. When her dad returned she would join him and they'd have dinner. Then her mom would tuck her in bed. Weekends were not much different. She would sleep late, wake up for breakfast and lie down talking on the phone. Then she would visit the temple in the evening and would have her singing lessons. Then she would eat out and would head home late.That was her life. It was something every human being wanted - simple, content and happy. Of course to her I was a villain. I told her that I understood her. I wanted to know if it was ok if she stayed in the same city but away from her parents. Her only condition was that I should not stay at my parent's place to which I agreed.
So we moved into a small apartment. She knew nothing. She had to be taught everything. She learnt. It was hard to make her understand that she had duties and she had a husband. Coffee had to be brought to her in the morning. She made the rules and broke them. She did not care for me.
Sometimes she would not return home but go to her parents' place without informing me. I would have had to go bring her back. Slowly she started realizing about married life. She would wake up before me, try to cook, agree for a movie, visit my friend's place, invite me to her college, let me dress her up, dance in front of me, teach me Chemistry, talk about her crushes, play cricket with me, make me cry for a change. She was growing mature day by day. One day she apologized for the whole thing. I brushed it aside. Finally I had her the way I wanted. Today I am happy and content with my life. She is still there crying to get her things done. I keep reminding her how she had threatened to call the police. She laughs it away. Some times I wonder how life would have been if I had not returned. Then again some things are left as they are."

One last quote:

"Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defences, you build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I HATE LOVE"

Starting this post positively and ending this negatively... just the way Life taught me to do... and just going by my gut feeling. I did love her and I continue to love her... And someone very close to me told me that the best part of being in Love is letting go for the sake of the happiness of the person whom you love. I've been there, done that... and now, am chilling in life... accepting things the way they come (if I like them) and also, staying adamant and selfish that I will not change. This is MY LIFE and I will not let go of it! :-)

"To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt."

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all."

I live by the last statement! Right or wrong.. I do not care!!!

Mumbai... Yeh kyaa huaa???

2008-02-05T18:13:00.001+05:30

Today, I get an email mentioning "Mumbai Saaf Karo". Though this email was about the cleansing of Mumbai's subways from the stink and the garbage, I had made an assumption that this was related to the halla-gulla that is happening in Aamchi Mumbai, with the rift between Mumbaikars and North Indians.

There have been quite some incidents in Bangalore and quite a lot of arguments amongst my friends and colleagues about North Indians and South Indians. Arrey bhai, we first belong to INDIA and then, to our houses.. and not to any state in particular. States have been created only for the sake of ease in administration of policies and not to create a rift between Indians. We still should be UNITED in spite of all DIVERSE ways of life. UNITY IN DIVERSITY.

Like the dialogue in the movie ChakDe, "Mujhe koi mulk yaa state ka naam nahi sunayi deta hai, mujhe toh sirf ek naam sunayi deta hai aur woh hai INDIA"... I might not be exactly correct in the dialogue rendering, but it goes something like that.

The thing that struck me most was the coverage in TIMES NOW channel which showed a group of hooligans hitting and kicking a poor panipuri vendor just coz he was a non-mumbaikar or a non-maharashtrian for that matter. Also, there have been quite a lot of taxi's damaged and their drivers assaulted coz they have chosen to make their living in this amazing place. What were the journalists doing then? Striving to take a good picture to earn their livelihood, no matter what happens to whom. What were the TV reporters / Cameramen doing? Running behind the hooligans to get an exclusive coverage and then, get their respective TRP Ratings high and not bothering to save the poor person who was getting thrashed.

We have shown to the world how Mumbai can be united in spirit when there were so many incidents of terror that has happened. We also bounced back when the serial blasts in the mumbai trains happened and displayed to the entire world how united we are in spirits. We did resume our normal lives in a very short span of time by putting the terrorists to shame. They wanted to wreck havoc in our lives but we did the same to their thoughts.

But the son of a political leader comments on such a sensitive topic about Mumbaikars and Non-Mumbaikars and we forget all our unity? Why?? Why should we not ignore these political leaders and start using them as they use us.. for personal gain???

Let me now speak about namma bengaluru. An autorickshaw driver assaults a female passenger. A reporter reaches the spot, but he is not taking any steps to save the female passenger. He comes into action only when a drunken man assaults him personally. What about the poor auto passenger? No one bothers about her? Everyone stands aside and watches the Tamasha?? What if the person was your neighbour or your family member? Would you have been the same person? Though the auto's registration number, the driver's name etc were all recorded, what actions did the police / government authorities take to prove that Bangalore is safe for commutation?

No wonder we are able to let our politicians to inject such narrow-mindedness into our already confused minds!!!

Social Networking... Orkut / Linked In / Facebook

2008-01-29T20:44:00.001+05:30

Well, I had this conversation today morning with a colleague and was pleasantly surprised to know that he did not accept linked-in contacts with people who have invited him to be a part of their contact list coz he did not know them personally.

IMHO, Linked-In and such professional contact websites are very useful for getting in touch with a probable business associate and you will be able to have a successful business relationship with him/her.

I have this peculiar habit of not accepting friend requests from unknown people on Orkut. I should interact with him/her atleast couple of times, either through scraps or chat or phone. Only then, would I send a friend's request or accept one-- Be it a girl who has sent me the request or a guy. My colleagues have chided me many a time as to why I don't accept friend requests from unknown girls too.. and they would take the link of the profile and contact that girl just to have an online friendship with her. This will not lead anywhere, but they say it is psychologically satisfying! WTF???

And I still have not been able to use facebook to the fullest extent.. I am more comfy with Orkut scrapping than Facebook's writing on the wall!

But there are quite a few ex-colleagues of mine who are on Facebook and Orkut and who cannot live without getting online on either of them.. At any point of time, they would be online on one or the other social networking site.. Is that some kind of an addiction??

Talking about addictions... TV is one of the most common addictions for many people and I went through this post which proved the point that I am not wrong in not watching TV for days/months at a stretch.

When I am not that keen even get in touch with anyone online or personally, WTF would I do knowing the events that the entire world is doing?

Life.. I've seen it all in just two days!

2008-01-23T14:23:00.001+05:30

What a beginning of the week this has been!!! I now have experienced what Life is all about...

Sunday midnight, my sister got admitted to the hospital and while I was on my way to the office on Monday, I got a call from Mysore that I need to go there to the hospital for the delivery of my sister's baby. I inform my office folks and I ride down to Mysore just to note that she has not got the severe labour pain that is required for a normal delivery and the doctor has decided to wait. Me and my mom waited for 6 hours and then, @ 19:10, she was blessed with a baby boy. But due to some complications, the baby was retained in the Neo-Natal ICU and my sis was sent to the ward. The baby was given to us only the next morning i.e., Tuesday Morning by 9 AM.

After spending just one hour with the baby, I started towards Bangalore and came directly to my office, thinking that I'll go home directly from office after completing my office work. Life made it otherwise..

I got a call last evening that my Aunt (Dad's sister) expired. She was a person who had taken care of me and many more such kids from day one and she was a selfless soul. Her demise, though was expected, made me feel so miserable that I was unable to do anything. I rushed to her house to pay my last respects to her, spent the night there without sleeping, accompanied her to the crematorium and then went home to get fresh, change and come to office.

What is life, it is a cycle of birth and death.. and I saw it all within two days!!!

I'm again asking why??? Though we know that Life is only this, why are we having so many wishes or being dependent on others or causing pain / hurt to others?? I just do not understand!

Selfishness

2008-01-09T19:44:00.001+05:30

A friend of mine has this status message in his Gtalk:

"There is some self interest behind every friendship, There is no friendship without self interest. This is a bitter truth"

I feel that the poor guy has realised this the hard way coz he is proclaiming the same to his world of friends!

Recently, I had this chat conversation with a friend in which she evidently wanted to point out that I am not a saint as I claimed.. Well, I never claimed that I am a saint. I have been having the thought of being EGOISTIC and Selfish from quite a long time, even b4 I met her! My Orkut profile too contains about my EGO and I have been quite frank to admit that I am not a saint!

She also pointed out that in each of my blog post, there will be a gesture towards her and for the people who are common friends, they will come to know that I am pointing to her only.. Well, It was happening all these days coz I had thought she was a friend and not anything else.. But she is trying to clarify time and again that this is not the thing and she does not want "Chat friends", who do not contact her personally or who do not call or message her! Sorry dear, my view of friendship and your view of friendship are different!

Coming back to selfishness... Someone had mentioned that "Mother's Love is the only thing which is pure and without any demands" and a cousin of mine had promptly replied, "Try not giving her freedom of actions and try to question her on whatever she does... and do revert if she would still love you!"

I do not claim here again that he was right or the other someone was wrong.. it is just as per everyone's perspectives.

Sometimes I feel that a mother would continue loving you even if you do as per my cousin coz she has taken a lot of pains for you and she has undergone a lot of struggles for your sake and she does not want them to go in vain. So, if that is the case too.. it is a case of selfishness as it is "her efforts" to go in vain".

So, when that saying holds good (at times) even for mother's love, wouldn't it be good for "FRIENDSHIP"?

I was searching in my previous blog posts for an earlier post on the same topic, but not having found that, I realised that the post is present in the form of a written musing in my diary and all that is required now is to convert to a soft-copy, which shall be done tomorrow!

Selfishness is not something great or new for me..I have been selfish and I will continue to be selfish as long as I am happy. I give more importance to my personal happiness than anything else in the world! That is one universal truth!

Weekend..... Some thoughts

2008-01-07T06:45:00.000+05:30

My weekend begins in a different way and ends in a completely different manner than the way it begins. This is happening from the past quite a few weeks!

Saturday saw me rushing here and there and I was busier than a normal working day. I went to a cousin's house, picked him up and then, went to Cauvery theater to book tickets for Taare Zameen Par's Matinee show. Then, dropping him @ the theater, I rushed to Kanakapura Road which is almost the other end of Bangalore and completed my tasks there. After that, I returned to another cousin's house, and together we managed to reach the theater by 1415 and entered the theater by 1425.. 3 mins b4 the movie started!!!

From the movie, for the first time in 6 years of staying in Bangalore, I went for a Saturday evening visit to Brigade Road. Went around searching for one cap and walked almost for three kilometres around Brigade Road, MG Road, Residency Road and Commissariat Road, just to end up without the hat and with a lot of leg ache!

Returned home by 2145 and CRASHED on the bed, to have another session of 11 hour sleep.. woke up only by 0845 today, which is VERY LATE by my standards.

So, Saturday was very busy.. But Sunday was the exact opposite.. I have been trying hard to laze around in the hot sun but am not been able to. I could not pass time this Sunday for unknown reasons. I did not feel like sitting quietly or roaming here and there.. All that I did was be a couch potato with two packets of Kurkure and surf the channels for 4 continuous hours. I did not call any of the cousins who had joined me for TZP, nor did I inform my relatives about the movie.. All that I said about the movie to my mom and sis who called me was not to miss this movie.

By evening, I finally got out of the house, went for a long walk and had quite some peace by strolling around the roads of Basaveshwaranagar. Then, had dinner and CRASHED quite early!

So, that which began as quite a hectic weekend ended as a lazy one!

I plan to have one completely lazy weekend sometime soon.. Dunno what is going to happen and when this would happen!

2007 - A personal retrospective

2008-01-01T13:12:00.000+05:30

The year 2007 was quite a change.. some might call it a refreshing change but I call it just a change which made me undergo self-realization and brought about a lot of changes in me.

My thinking became more matured which startled quite some people and am sure this would startle more people this year! My first feeling was that I'd give a Month on Month analysis of stuff that happened but then, Month on Month analysis is impossible coz there were so many events that took place and I am sure I do not remember every event!

Lemme categorize this into a few headers:

1. Responsibility:

Became a good son.. took more responsibility of taking care of my family and catered to mom's needs, guessed mom's wishes and took her out on trips, started socializing with people whom I felt I could socialize coz that was one huge complaint of mom that I was always into a recluse, Took care of mom's Osteoporosis, at the same time, managing to spend time my way and managed to walk the thin line between taking care and forcing myself upon her to go to the doc's without her interest, Did all those things that mom wanted me to do except maintaining a cordial relationship with my sis! ;o) Me and sis went apart multiple times and came close all the time due to mom's efforts...

2. Love:

Fell in love all over again and decided that In case I enter a long term relationship, it should be with this girl and none else, Saw a close friend go and knock the doors of depression due to his relationship with his GF crashing, Came really close to satisfying lusty desires but chickened out at the last minute coz of my inherent reservedness.

3. Socialization:

Probably, this was the field which saw the most change in me.. From being a very reserved person, I have taken steps to become a normal guy and socialized with quite a few people, attended meetings, went out on trips, interacted with a lot of people, observed their views of life, drew a line between official and personal domains @ workplace, ensured that I work for my salary and did not sit musing over anything that happened in life or at office for a long time.

4. Self:

Had a lot of self realization... Knew exactly what I am and what I want to become in life, Realized my potential and my strong points, posted better blogposts, Showed to the world that even I have EGO, Stayed with myself for quite a long time, Experimented with myself and the world, all in all had quite a lot of fun, and finally, decided to take up reading more seriously than ever! ;-)

Since there were quite a lot of happenings in the previous year, have decided to start afresh this year and try to ensure that I am happy and also that I am what I want and not what someone else wants me to be!

Miss you

2007-12-28T09:58:00.001+05:30

It is 3 years since we met, since we heard each other's voice, since you last smiled, since I last cried, since I felt truly cared for, since I felt truly caring...

Today, in 2004, you sent me to office without telling me that it would be the last time I would ever speak to you.. And you asked me to come back from office midway knowing pretty well and doing pretty well to stay till I returned... you spent the last 10 minutes with me holding my hand... and that was it!

Miss you Dad.. Had never thought I would really miss you, but it is something these days that makes me feel that if you were here, It would be really wonderful!

Am sorry for letting you go, for bringing you to Bangalore to live with me, for ignoring your health.. Please forgive me!

Please forgive those thoughts that came into my mind that I am better off now than if you were ever here... Please forgive your son who misunderstood your love and thought you did not have confidence on him!

Missing you more than ever...

Politics... Benazir Bhutto Assassinated

2007-12-27T19:32:00.001+05:30

Benazir Bhutto is assassinated, Blasts at her rallies, Gunshots at Nawaz Sharif's rally... All that in our neighbouring country of Pakistan...

I have been reading the book "In the Line of Fire" by Gen. Pervez Musharraf in which he tries to glorify his acts and the coup using which he ousted Nawaz Sharif citing reasons as to why he felt Nawaz Sharif was not a worthy person to lead Pakistan. He also says that Mr. Bhutto (Sr.) and Mr. Nawaz Sharif, both were incapable of leading Pakistan.

As soon as I got the breaking news about Benazir Bhutto's assassination, the first thought that came to my mind is that it was the ideal way to have Politics.. Remove all your enemies.. at the same time, give a speech about a fortnight earlier to that extent of warning them of the security lapses that might happen and then, make it appear as a "terrorist" attack...

Waah re Waah.. Good.. and you think politics is only about money??? It is about retaining power as well.. and going to whatever extent you can to retain power!

Suggested Reading: "In the Line of Fire" by Gen. Pervez Musharraf.

Rocking Zindagi ... Life on the Rocks!

2007-12-27T18:21:00.002+05:30

There is this dialogue in the movie Bunty aur Babli... in which Abhishek Bachchan says "duniya mein doh tarah ki log hotein hai, ek woh jo duniya ke marzi se jiye aur doosra woh jo apni tarah se jiye aur duniya ko apni taraf kheech laaye" or some such thing!

Today, I am having the same feeling... Life is always like a coin having two sides.. either you win or the other person wins.. (NOTE: You don't lose!) Either it comes your way (you make it come your way) or it takes you its way!

Having read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, Anthem and many such similar books, I decided that I will lead life my way.. be Egoistic, be Selfish and be happy! And am quite successful in a sense by adopting that philosophy.

I have not bothered about anyone's feelings as long as I get my work done, as long as I am true to myself, as long as I don't need to compromise or do some remote thing similar to a compromise! I have had many a scuffle with many a person over this, but I have been rarely bothered.. I have been like a drop of water on a lotus petal, unperturbed, undisturbed, detached and unmoved by anything that happens with anyone, be it with a family man or be it with a colleague or be it with a friend. (N.B.: I have been friendly with a lot of people, but friends with only a few!)

Mom tells me that I have been like this from quite some time.. and this character has been real effective in hiding my sorrow from the rest of the world when Dad passed away! But the other feeling that I evoked from them is that I did not care about anything... which is true.. and so, I did not care about this feeling of theirs too.. Mom also felt quite bad but has now got adjusted to this life of mine! :-)

But every time I reminisce, I get this feeling that I have hurt quite a lot of people and I need to apologise. However, My EGO gets the better of me and I don't apologise.

Sometime in the last fortnight, Mom dropped a bomb on me asking me to tell her what kind of a girl I like to be my wife and that she will start the lookout for a suitable bride for me from Jan onwards. Life surely seems complicated!

However, what I am gonna do is live life without planning and decide stuff at the last moment and not repent on those decisions.. I've been leading life like this and it works for me! :)

So, is it Life on the Rocks as in Vodka on the Rocks?? Or is it Life on the Rocks as in Waves hitting the Rocks?? I'm unable to decide!

History and its interpretations

2007-12-15T04:36:00.001+05:30

I had earlier made a post on secularism... How stupid I was then... I had not bothered to verify the same. Now, recently, I finished reading a book abt Nathuram Godse and Mahatma Gandhi. In this book, the author had dealt with both these personalities and had pointed out how good they both were and how equally stupid their decisions were which led to the death of both these people.

I earlier, would not have pointed to Mahatma Gandhi as "Mahatma" but this book made me realise how much of a good person he was and I have started calling him "Mahatma". This does not mean I am his fan and definitely does not mean that I was hating him earlier.

Mistakes happen by everyone and by LEADERS, mistakes make more damage. To Err is Human.. and LEADERS are Human too..

Putting myself in their shoes by reading about them and trying to imagine what I might have done in their place if I was having such a situation and none else to cater to it, I might have taken the same decisions that they have taken.

An Indian book will describe how GORY the Partition was to India and how the trains were full of dead bodies and how much blood was shed.. But a Pakistani book also describes the same way... Casualties have happened there too.. So, it is meaningless to say that we have had more damage than them or they are bad people or some such thing.

Even they are humans and so are we. Even they were angered by the Partition and so were we. Even they felt enraged when they saw their kith and kin being butchered by Indians and took their toll on us.

There are these religious parties like VHP, RSS, BJP, Bajrang dal, Shiv Sena etc which are trying to tarnish the image of Congress Leaders like Nehru, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi etc by pointing out some incidents of their personal life and by glorifying their mistakes. The question is, why are these being brought about now and why were these not pointed out then when the mistakes were being committed? Now, it is safe to point out their mistakes that they are all dead and there is no way that these can be verified. I also read somewhere that Sonia Gandhi was a KGB spy when she met Rajiv Gandhi.. What bullshit???

I am no fan of politics and every party has the same amount of bastards as they have leaders. Let us not forget that Congress was the only party which was capable of forming a few policies immediately after Independence so that we do not go haywire. And it was due to the planning of Nehru, Indira and others that we were able to gain to atleast some place in the eyes of the other countries of the World.

At the same time, even though they were leaders of the party, it should also be blamed on the party for letting them carry on in whatever ways they want and tarnishing their own images as well as bringing a bad name to the party.

If it were not for the five year plans that probably we would never have achieved "all round progress" and again, if it were not to be the opening of the Indian markets for FDIs' that we would definitely not have got any international brands and we would definitely not have been as renowned as we are today in the field of IT!

So, guys, let us please open up our eyes and view history from a neutral perspective and not keep "crying over spilt milk". And instead of narrowing our mindsets and viewpoints to India and Pakistan and about the Kashmir conflict, let us think about how we can contribute to make the world a better place.

And we've got to do that only by first cleaning out our own backyards and then, we could boldly point to a neighbour's backyard!!

Reading... How wonderful a habit! :)

2007-12-14T10:27:00.001+05:30

I am an avid reader.. will keep reading anything that I can lay my hands on... I will not bother abt the genre or the type or the number of pages or the content in the books. I read:

Ayn Rand
Ravi Belegare
RK Narayan
Harold Robbins
Irving Wallace
Ian Fleming
John Grisham
Alfred Hitchcock
Arthur Hailey
Sydney Sheldon
JK Rowling
Auto-biographies (From Christopher Reeve to Musharraf and Adolph Hitler)
Sigmund Freud
Mark Twain
Kuldip Nayar
Kushwant Singh
Dan Brown
Mario Puzo
Enid Blyton
Theological stuff (like Swami Sukhabodhananda, Osho, Paramahamsa Yogananda, Normal Vincent Peale etc.)
Essays (of Amartya Sen, APJ Abdul Kalam etc.)
Innumerable Kannada Novels including SL Bhairappa, BV Anantharam, Yendamoori Veerendranath, UR Ananthamoorthy, Girish Karnad, Beechi etc (Thanks Ananth for pointing this out!)
Any eBook that I can lay my eyes on :)
....
....
....

The list is never ending..

I started reading these kind of books from my school days where I used to rush into the library for almost 4 times a day to read a book inside the library and borrow a book every day. Read it overnight and return the book the next day to borrow another one.

I have read Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Archies, Tinkle, Amar Chitra Katha, Jataka Tales, Panchatantra, Famous Five, Secret Seven etc.

Though I started this habit coz this was one which was as per my interests and I cultivated my interests in this coz I was unable to do anything else; This is one habit which has continued till date and hopefully, will continue with me to the grave!

Initially, I did not buy books coz of financial problems that we were undergoing those days.. so, in Mysore, it was always the library to give me books and I was unable to get membership of any public library too.. So, it was my school and college libraries. Even now, when I go there, I make it a point to visit my school library and spend some time there.

My dad told me that "Books are the best friends of a man" and the next thing that I did was beseech my school librarian to issue me two books per day! There have been a lot of funny incidents regarding my reading.. I had read so much one day that I forgot to eat. Once, I was reading with a book on my lap and had so much that I found it difficult to get up from the floor after food.

There was this duration of two years in which I studied in a not-so-good college and in those two years, I was unable to read much.. As soon as I got myself into a better college for my graduation, I started again!

If I reminisce now, it is quite amazing how freely I interacted with my librarians who used to go out of their bounds to get me a book that I wanted. And the library of the not-so-good college had librarians who themselves were not interested in any kind of books!

I also have this habit of using bookmarks.. I used to keep a small piece of paper in such a way that none noticed it even if they have read the book and I used to do this in public libraries.

So, as soon as I came to Bangalore, I was amazed by the number of books available on the road side.. and the rate at which they are available. So, I bought a few books and I still have retained them. But, I soon realized that they are pirated books and have hence, stopped buying books from roadside vendors. Now, 'm a regular visitor to Landmark, Oxford and Higginbothams.

Shelfari is a social networking website related to books.. but I was able to see so many people on shelfari who do not have any "books" and I know so many people there who do not even read any "books", but they are members of that...

What is the reason of being a member of a social networking website if you are not, in any way, making use of the network???

K9 or humans?

2007-12-07T20:12:00.001+05:30

I'm sure many would agree with me that the thing that two-wheelers dread while riding bikes after hours is the blazing headlights of vehicles approaching them! My daily route back home @ 11PM is two-ways through and through, not properly lit and with all vehicles approaching me and very few driving in the same direction as I am! The reasons why I dread late-night driving/riding are:

Innumerable Potholes on the road which go by unnoticed till the last moment, causing extensive damage to your bike as well as to your back!
Mindless humans crossing the roads without bothering to check for any approaching traffic and with an air of extreme confidence that none would cause them hurt
Stray Dogs, either sleeping on the roads or chasing two-wheelers or scavenging for food near garbage bins or chasing another stray dog, either for mating or for displaying their territorial aggression.

Now, if a human comes in front of your vehicle, chances are that both of you stop, glare at each other and have a war of words, you bang into him, have a war of words and probably leading to physical blows, but at the end of the day, it is no grievous injuries to anyone.

But if it is a canine (K9) coming in front of your vehicle, chances are that you would not even have noticed that and you ride over it or bang into it or get a huge shudder coz it would immediately have glared its teeth against you for riding so close to it and invading its privacy. Worst of all, many a dog might have broken its leg and would limp for some months, but the rider would have suffered head injuries or even death.

The reason I am typing this blog post is to point out that DOGS are better off when they are PETS and not good as STRAYS. This is exactly opposite to what Tamanna says here.

How I wish

2007-11-29T21:56:00.001+05:30

Today, on my way back from office, while I was coming through vijayanagar, there is this stretch of poorly lit road. The road is good and it is a completely residential area.

A Bajaj CT100 bike (KA02, EA5366) bike was going in front of me and on the extreme left corner of the road was a girl walking back, probably from college or tutions coz she had a knapsack on her back and she was moderately dressed, wearing a jeans and a fullarm sweatshirt.

The biker, riding triples, suddenly swerved to the left and for a moment, I thought he is going to fall.. but he rode on, and the person sitting in the middle put his hand out and actually hit the girl on her back and the trio raced away. I rode my best to catch up with them but I was forced to brake as a kid came in my way!

It was sickening.. Why can't a girl even walk alone that too at 2015 hrs in a completely residential area??? I dunno what the poor girl would have felt and I did not want to make her feel worse by speaking to her abt this. I am not sure if that was a good thing I did or not.. but How I wish the child was taken proper care of by its parents and it had not come in my way. In my rage, I surely would have created a scene there and taken the trio for task for this disgusting task.

What could the girl have done???

She was alone
Area was not well lit
The biker raced away such that being just abt 15 yards behind him, I could not catch up with him.. what could a girl who was walking done??

How I wish that this kind of cheap mentality is ditched and a girl could properly and safely walk on the roads, no matter what the time is.

And on contemplating.. why does this happen only to girls always?? I wish some girls gherao a guy who does this and take him to task.. and let the news get published all round. Probably, only then, would these people understand.

Bloody Hell.. this is absolute stupidity!

2007-11-29T16:25:00.001+05:30

Caution: Mature and explicit content.. No offence meant to anyone!

I was reading the Times of India today when I came across this piece of news. C'mon.. this is heights of being stupid!

If we still have people like that activist, we will never open our minds for advancing and India would still remain a "Developing Country".

All the idiotic thoughts and feelings that are being expressed and advocated by the political parties and by the religious fanatics are all crap and bullshit!

What is wrong if we advocate sex education to students in schools? What is wrong when telling out the truth that many girls would not be virgins till people marry them or that virginity is not a great thing!? What if someone prays with the footwear on? When the Vedas themselves advocate that GOD is omnipresent, isn't it foolish to remove the footwear only coz we enter the temple? Going by the logic, we should not wear footwear et all anywhere coz GOD is everywhere!

Will anyone bother abt checking if a man is a virgin or if he shags everyday or he ogles at girls or he fantasizes abt every female that he comes across? Just coz a girl has the hymen membrane which gets torn or stretches while having sexual intercourse leading to release of blood and a guy does not have it, it should not be assumed that the girl is not a virgin if there is no bleeding after sexual intercourse.

What would be the test of virginity with males? Will it be the amount of ejaculation? Or the time till which he will hold back his sperm from ejaculating? Or will it be the time for how long he would be able to retain his erection? Or will he have a premature ejaculation during his "first night" which is assumed to be the occasion for both man and woman to shed their inhibitions and have sex.. or is it known as making love??

What is the concept of first night? Just coz a marriage has happened and you get to spend the night with someone new in ur bedroom (assuming that the girl comes to the guy's place after marriage.. being a male chauvinist here), it does not mean that you use it to deflower her or you have sex with her.. So, in case a far off relative comes home and is forced to share your bedroom, will you fuck him/her??

If you go through the highly acclaimed works of Sanskrit, all the works are completely immersed in vulgarity. The poets and authors would give such a vivid description of a female or a male and their conjunction that there is no need for you to watch any movie or see any picture to get excited. And it is these works that are being advocated as "text books" or "study material" to students. And if one wants to rename the subject of study or specialise in this subject of study under the name of Sex Education, you are opposing to that! Isn't it stupid enough on your own part?

I was recently confessing to a friend that I don't want to have sex, but will not stop from having a go at her. She asked me what I actually meant by that meaningless and seemingly idiotic statement? Now, thinking back on stuff, It sounded so silly!

I do not have any qualms to admit that I shag and also to admit that I am a virgin, more by choice than by chance! I also admit that I want to have an intercourse with the person whom I have in my mind and not with anyone else. And If I do not get that person? You might ask. The answer is simple.. the future is as UNCERTAIN as the thoughts I get in my mind! ;-)

Though, all these days, just after quitting from my first job in a BPO and even in that job, when someone asked me during the ice breaker session whether I am a virgin and laughed out aloud that I was, and post that too, I have been claiming to glory that I am experienced in sex! However, It was quite a lot of days (but while I was working in the BPO itself) before I found myself a girl, became physical with her, and then, got this thought that, "well, if I expect a girl to be a virgin when I make love to her, won't the girl expect the same from me?" So, ditched all possible chances to make love or have sex and remained a virgin! :-)

Whatever it might be, due to a few idiotic people advocating their thoughts, My thoughts and feelings will not change. I will lead my life the way I want, being a virgin or not, having sex or not, getting married or not.. and Blogging without any bloody worries about any screwball who might think that this blog post is "anti-" something and would want to get this post banned or get blogger banned from India (As it happened with Orkut a few months earlier!) :-)

'm Sorry

2007-11-27T08:50:00.001+05:30

Well, I was mentioning (or rather, bitching) about a "friend" who had ditched me for her carnal fantasies and had twitterred that she took revenge on me.. This post is an apology to her!

She clarified to me by the means of a good long email that:

She had hinted sex as a means of getting closer to me as a friend and when I had avoided it, she too avoided taking that topic out... and on thinking back, yes.. it was true.. she had avoided speaking abt the topic.
She was getting connected to the net @ waterplaces coz she had put work in front of pleasure.. which even i normally do
She had twitterred about "taking revenge" on someone else and the reason was personal, though she has mentioned it out to me.

So, 'm really sorry yaar.. for having bitched about you. We remain, as ever, as friends with each other!

Weekend.. actually what happened

2007-11-26T13:30:00.001+05:30

Well, after so much confusions and deliberations and asking people routes of places and road conditions, what I did this weekend would definitely not have been worth so much discussions.

I spent this weekend the way I wanted with the company of my dearest darling! :)

I stayed @ home, completed 5 books of Harry Potter, started the 6th, listened to more than 250 songs which were stored in my comp but did not have the time/patience/mood to listen to, Bought 6 packets of popcorn and finished 5. (The last one, I finished today morning b4 getting ready to office ;) !)

Spoke to myself inside my house, acted dumb outside my house on my way to breakfast. Skipped lunch and dinner, skived off opportunities to go to my relatives.. Preferred loneliness.. did not go online, spare once to check my orkut scraps! Did not even want to do that, but I was expecting the scrap of someone special and that did not happen! :(

This, for me, was how an ideal weekend should have been.. No disturbances from any phone call or any messages (sms) or even anyone personally. Yay Yay.. Enjoyed it and also realised that walking would be so peaceful and good!

Planning to do the same next time whenever I get this opportunity and also, planning to walk more than usual.. walk whenever I need to go to some short distance! ;)

Weekend Plans

2007-11-23T20:58:00.001+05:30

Since mom is not with me, I'm considering a weekend getaway. Actually, am confused... (Yeah yeah.. nothing new for all the people who know me!!) My options are:

I feel like taking my bike and going for a long ride into the wilderness, taking an unknown road, getting lost and finally, managing to return back to namma bengaluru safe and sound.
I also feel like shutting myself inside the house, doing nothing all day but listening to music and reading.. this time, not forgetting to buy 5 to 10 packets of popcorn to give me company.
I also feel like taking some official work home and doing it over the weekend, collating the data, preparing the DB and getting it to office once for all on Monday!
I also feel like paying a courtesy last visit to all my relatives/known people in bengaluru once for all and then, get out of touch forever!
I also feel like doing some good work for a change and washing my bike which has been a very good companion for me who is a loner.
I also feel like going to my ex-office in whitefield (where I had been today to have my appraisal) to meet a friend who was not keeping well today, but would the visit be worth the time/strain of travelling??

Shit.. too many thoughts.. just one weekend!!! Hell!!!!

Well, Mom is in town but with my expired uncle's family. So, this makes it more complicated as everyone expects me to be with mom in their house mourning and (faking) being sorry.

My aunt (dad's youngest sister, living near Vijayanagar) expects me to go to her house and spend the entire day with her. My other aunt (Dad's sister, but eldest of all sisters, still younger than Dad) has already called me and informed me b4hand that there will be everyone at their house and she wants me too to join there!

I think I'll do what my dearest darling feels.. and no gifts for guessing who that is.. it is my own sweet self!!! If it feels lazy tomorrow, I might be following (2) above. Else, if it wants a getaway, I might be following (1) above. But definitely, as far as I can guess, I will never follow (3) or (4) atleast this weekend! And if this friend of mine calls, I would do (6) too.. I can always procrastinate (5) for Sunday OR sometime next week, I might even decide to give the bike for a paid service @ CBZ(Castrol Bike Zone) !!!!

Lemme c.. will definitely post what I did this weekend post doing what I will do! Coz the future is uncertain!!!

Life... live it as per your wishes

2007-11-20T17:06:00.001+05:30

I just reached home from the cremation of my late dad's only surviving brother. I have had quite a lot of scuffles with this uncle of mine and he was also suffering from a very long time, but that did not move me in any way. I had an opinion that he got what he deserved.. all this for what??? One main thing is that he made us homeless!!!

Anyways, past things past, the only thing that came to my mind on seeing his dead body today is.. no matter what all he did, he was unable to even eat during his last days and there was none to take care of him.. the food that was being prepared for him by his family was pathetic.. as told by mom who tasted that yesterday.

No matter how much he earned or how much he swindled or how many girls he had sexually/verbally abused during his tenure as a professor in one of the greatest colleges in shimoga, the final thing was that he suffered from a very very long time and there was none who could help him or take his suffering.

He was meeting accidents very often and had many a surgery in the past.. but this time, no surgery could save him. He had kidney failure in both kidneys, diabetes and now, got gangrene and his leg was supposed to be amputated in a few days and the doc had scraped off a few tissues from his already decaying legs from which blood and puss and water was leaking. Flies were swarming over the wounds but there was none to even check that.

At the end, the only thing that i felt was, no matter whatever he did or whatever happened to him, he was not able to take a single pie even to the hospital, forget the crematorium.

I just hope that I should not be in a position of having caused hurt to anyone and I need to lead a life as per my wishes and also try to accomodate the wishes of a some other people too.. so, I think there is going to be yet another metamorphosis in me :o)

Social Networking .. Orkut

2007-11-14T11:12:00.001+05:30

I somehow prefer orkut more than facebook or any other social networking sites. Linked-in is something completely different. It is more into professional networking. Orkut and Facebook are similar in their nature to get in touch with friends and other people you know, facebook has more fun forms in it like custom made applications which you can install and all those things.. but it is not that user friendly for a person who has been in Orkut from a very long time.

Coming back to Orkut, I have found my childhood neighbours after a gap of more than 18 years. Would this have been possible in Facebook or any other social networking site? I dunno really.

All that I knew of these people was the name and a vague guess about their place of residence. That itself worked out and I got back in touch with these people. Forget scrapping or exchanging contact numbers through that.. The best used part of Orkut is the interface b/n Orkut and Gtalk. Anyone whom I add on Orkut comes on my gtalk messenger list and I'd be able to chat with them.

That's how I prefer being in touch with people.. I'm not that much of a nerd to sit at a very beautiful waterplace (be it a beach or a river) and get connected to the net using a laptop and start chatting or twitterring.. I prefers not being in constant contact but being in touch only when required. Else, am happy in my own recluse! For people to get in touch with me, my mobile number is public on my orkut profile and they can call me @ any time if it is so imminent for them to contact me.

Of my childhood friends, I had contacted 4 of them but as of now, two have replied mentioning that they too wanted to get in touch with me and have accepted my friend requests and my scraps and my gtalk invites. So, I agree with the scores of people who say Orkut ROCKS!!!

Contemplation continues

2007-11-13T08:21:00.001+05:30

Well... okay.. okay.. I was a bit too idiotic to ask if people came to know what I am talking abt in my previous blogpost... But yeah.. it is quite simple and quite close to what you people are assuming.

But that made quite a difference.. Someone whom I had thought would be able to share my feelings with and who had told me that I am the male part of her psyche and our thinking was so alike just "ditched" me and as per her twitter update, she wanted to take "revenge" on me. I had considered her quite a good friend and I am told that "I lost interest" ... If I think back on my actions and ask Why, it is simple.. I did not bed her and I did not make any efforts to personally meet her and satisfy her lust!

Sheesh.. The mails and the chats that happened prior to this were that I am a friend and that even if I don't have sex wid her, it is fine as long as I am there as a friend to share the feelings!

And also, the reason told by them was that I did not make any efforts to get back in contact wid her.. C'mon... It is not my cup of tea to keep calling people. I never call people if I can get in touch with them through other means and the same thing applies to my sister as well as my relatives and friends. The only people whom I call are the ones who do not have any other means of communication.

Friends, IMHO, should not think abt why should I only call and I only receive calls or I only ping him/her on gtalk. It should work mutually exclusive of the other.

Whatever, this blog post and the previous one would, probably, make her realise that "REVENGE" is "SWEET" only when the "OTHER PERSON" suffers! Sorry sweetheart, but the sufferring has not affected me much coz of my trip to Kanyakumari! :) And I also came to know what you wanted in life and from me and It was quite a revelation for me getting to know someone like you!

As it has been told in HP7, You need to really mean it while you are trying to take revenge or hurt someone! :)

What the heck...........

2007-11-10T03:59:00.000+05:30

It is 0400 in the morning and am awake from 2300. Am I doing a night shift, you might ask. No, I dozed off by 2130 and woke up again at 2300, dunno why and how my sleep lifted.

From then, am tossing and turning in my bed and unable to catch sleep. Did not want to get online but no other option, me online!

What do I do once am online??? I twittered... and am blogging now... I don't wanna get online on gtalk or yahoo coz my relatives in the US would be surprised as to what the fuck am i doing online at that time and will jump into unwanted conclusions... as if I care abt the conclusions they take abt me, but invariably, the conclusions that they jump into would be abt health and death and such stuff!

Tried reading a book, that did not help.. tried listening to songs.. which did not help too.. finally, spoke with an ex colleague returning from her night shift and tried to sleep after that diversion from my thoughts.. was unable to do that too..

Last week, me was on a very very eventful trip to Madurai, Rameswaram, Thiruchendur and Kanyakumari.. And if you get it that all the four are temple towns in Tamilnadu and you start wondering what events would have happened in the trip, lemme tell you this... everything that happened caused me great happiness.. and I want to carry the memories of this trip and the previous trip to Rameswaram forever with me without sharing with anyone and probably, carry the same to my grave!

And if any of the events and the discussions for the future become true, I'll be thankful for my own decision of having gone to this trip and having discussed the same!

Am I telling everything out??? Is this enough to make some assumptions as to what might have happened in the trip? Only a very few close friends know enough to assume stuff which is close to the truth.. all the other assumptions, pls put them as comments.

Lemme try and catch some sleep.. I still am not feeling sleepy but lemme force myself to sleep so that I can have a good weekend. Chao till next post! [:)]

Bisexual Dogs??? Just a passing observation

2007-10-29T19:27:00.000+05:30

A friend of mine has pointed out here that there are no bisexuals in flies or in humans... but how abt dogs?

Me was feelin very sleepy @ office and just went out for some fresh air when i noticed this.

Hrrnnhh......Hrrnnhh........ (Clearing the throat to start off on my oration!)

(Disclaimer: All the names are fictitious and any inferance to any creature living or dead is purely intentional!)

Once upon a time, not a long time ago, but just a few hours ago, on 29/10/2007 in JP Nagar near the Mini Forest, there was a dog. Let's name the dog as WhyKunta (in kannada, kunta means limping person and some bastard had injured this dog and it was limping!) This dog was trying to be very friendly with me and was hoping that i would feed it something though i was fasting.. sorry dear WhyKunta, but if I am fasting, I don't carry anything worth giving away to a dog!

Our WhyKunta, on being disappointed and heartbroken for not getting anything from me, puts up a sad face and lies down on the road in front of the gate of our office.

Meanwhile, There is this other group of dogs nearby... Let's name them Notty, Fatty, Scrawny and Shrewdly (am naming the dogs after their characteristics). Fatty, being as fat as he is, Scrawny, being as thin as he is, Shrewdly, being as cunning as he is and Notty, being as playful as he is, are lazing on a few sandbags which have been put there on occasion of a renovation happening nextdoor.

Notty becomes inquisitive and comes immediately towards our WhyKunta. I feel that they knew each other coz rather than having a territorial aggression and a fight, Notty wags his tail and tries to sniff(p) at the mouth of WhyKunta, who also starts wagging his tail and does the same. They leap at each other's mouths, each escaping the other's and each just being able to lick the other's nose.

Then, lo, there was a surprise in store.. Shrewdly comes near and sniffs at both WhyKunta and Notty. Then, Shrewdly goes behind a parked car and comes out after a few seconds looking greatly relieved. I wonder whether it shagged itself or just pissed behind the car.. I was not interested in following that coz I had an entertaining session happening in front of me with both of these dogs jumping at each other and licking only the noses of the other!

Now, due to the privacy that the absence of these 3 dogs (Notty, Shrewdly and WhyKunta) from the sandbags, Fatty and Scrawny are having a gala time with each giving a blowjob to the other! Shrewdly goes back and disturbs the privacy.. Notty also goes there and lies on the sandbag showing his loins to the world to glory. Notty is "approached" by all the other 3 dogs (except our WhyKunta who is writhing in pain and also wondering why the dogs have ditched him and still expecting me to feed him!). Notty is given one of the best blowjobs he might have ever had in his lifetime... (Who said a Dog's life is uninteresting - the only thing is that all the other dogs were "DOGS" and not "BITCHES" to enjoy the blowjob to the max.. but no hard feelings!!)

After getting a nice blowjob done, Notty comes back to WhyKunta, and pushes and nudges him towards the sandbags. In quite sometime, all the 4 DOGS are running behind each other, each sniffing the other's Dick and each licking the other's Loins!!!

What happens next... I do not know.. Coz I did not want to:

Disturb the privacy that the dogs were having coz we do not get that privacy et all
Put myself and my loins in danger by trying to get a better view of the "activity" happening on the sand bags.
Get aroused by thinking abt the blowjob

Me returned to my cubicle with all these thoughts in my mind and So, there ended my observation of the dogs....

You might ask me why did I title it as bisexual when it was all DOGS and it was Gayish behavior of dogs.. It is simple.. I had noticed Shrewdly and Fatty having their go at a "BITCH" just today afternoon while I was parking my bike! If the dogs have already shown that they are "STRAIGHT" by screwing a "BITCH", why did they give and get Blowjobs done from "DOGS"? Are they gay too??? Isn't this bisexualness???

Are they bisexual DOGS??? Can we generalise this statement to say that DOGS might be bisexual??

I'm sure that humans are not bisexual and they are either Gay or Lesbian or Straight and if you know someone who has had sex with both a guy and a gal, (s)he would also come under one of the above mentioned three categories based on what interested him/her the most!

What abt DOGS?? Anyone wants to lead a DOGS life just coz of this advantage that DOGS have that they can screw around with anyone regardless of the gender??? I'm still searching for the answers............. The search is on................

Secularism -- Majority and Minority

2007-10-24T09:11:00.000+05:30

This post is not dedicated to anyone and is just a forwarded email which has been copied and pasted over here... and i am forced to assume that this is the truth!

I had posted earlier on the same topic and here i go again!

Talking abt majority and minority as a part of the comments in my previous post, i was forced to put this in points below:

1. Do you consider that - Sanskrit is communal and Urdu is secular, Mandir is Communal and Masjid is Secular, Sadhu is Communal and Imam is secular,VandeMatharam is communal and Allah-O-Akbar is secular, Shriman is communal and Mian is secular, Hinduism is Communal and Islam is Secular?

2. Why Godhra is blown out of proportion, when no-one talks of the ethnic cleansing of 4 lakh Hindus from Kashmir?

3. When Christian and Muslim schools can teach Bible and Quran, Why Hindus cannot teach Gita in our schools?

4. When Haj pilgrims are given subsidy, why Hindu pilgrims to Amarnath, Sabarimalai & Kailash Mansarovar are taxed?

5. If Muslims & Christians are minorities in Maharashtra, UP, Bihar etc., are Hindus not minorities in J&K, Mizoram, Nagaland, Arunachal Pradesh, Meghalaya etc? Why are Hindus denied minority rights in these states?

6. When Hindus gave to Muslims 30% of Bharat for a song, why should Hindus now beg for their sacred places at Ayodhya, Mathura And Kashi?

7. In India today Hindus are 85%. If Hindus are intolerant, how come Masjids and madrasas are thriving? How come Muslims are offering Namaz on the road? How come Muslims are proclaiming 5 times a day on loud speakers that there is no God except Allah?

8. There are nearly 52 Muslim countries. Show one Muslim country which provides Haj subsidy.

9. Show one Muslim country where Hindus are extended the special rights that Muslims are accorded in India?

10. Show one country where the 85% majority craves for the indulgence of the 15% minority.

11. Show one Muslim country, which has a Non-Muslim as its President or Prime Minister.

12. Show one Mullah or Maulvi who has declared a 'fatwa' against terrorists.

13. Hindu-majority Maharashtra, Bihar, Kerala, Pondicherry , etc. have in the past elected Muslims as CM’s, Can you ever imagine a Hindu becoming the CM of Muslim - majority J&K?

14. In 1947, when India was partitioned, the Hindu population in Pakistan was about 24%. Today it is not even 1%. In 1947, the Hindu population in East Pakistan (now Bangladesh) was 30%. Today it is about 7%. What happened to the missing Hindus? Do Hindus have human rights?

15. In contrast, in India, Muslim population has gone up from 10.4% in 1951 to about 14% today whereas Hindu population has come down from 87.2% in 1951 to 85% in 1991. Do you still think that Hindus are fundamentalists?

And why do you feel that we are "showing off" our majority status and pointing at the "minorities" by celebrating our festivals??? Why are you ignoring the fact that we do celebrate the minority festivals too.. we do have christmas and easter get togethers, we do have social meetings on the occasions of ramzan, id and moharram where everyone participates.

Have you noticed one common thing amongst all terrorists? They are all hardcore islamists... Christians and Hindus are peace loving people and they follow a policy of forgive and forget... unless of course provoked! They don't get provoked easily but once provoked, they are not the ones that you can expect mercy from.. this was clearly shown in Godhra!

Technology... Best use of it

2007-10-22T12:49:00.000+05:30

Don't be shocked as to why the laptop is also getting ayudha puja done.. It is quite a mystery if you check this picture..

The person with the bare back is the priest chanting the shlokas and doing ayudha puja. The person leaning towards the cubicle with his hands folded is our company's Vice President Mr. Ramesh and the person having the laptop in his hands is our system admin. Mr. Jinesh.

The laptop's keypad was adorned with a flower and the puja of the laptop done! Then, it is being used as a video camera!!! Yes, you read it right.. a video camera!

This is a Toshiba laptop with a camera (for webcam purposes).... That was being used to record the Ayudha Puja and the recording was supposed to be sent to the US for one of our clients... Wah wah.. kyaa plan kiya hamare VP ne..

But that 10min recording got stored in the .avi format and the total size of the video file was 2.25GB!!! So much for a recording!!!

That was what i call "Optimal Usage of Resources!!!" he he he

Musings abt life..

2007-10-04T21:08:00.001+05:30

Hell.. why the fuck am i confused to this extent?? Lemme just give u a few hints on what am confused:

1) I have a loan running on my bike and I need to shell out 25K more to finish this loan. Do I let it go on? The rate of interest is 8.5%. If I take a new loan to finish the vehicle loan, the rate of interest would be more than 18% for sure.. And why do i want to finish this vehicle loan? I seriously have no idea!!! It has just entered my mind that I need to finish the current vehicle loan, even if it means taking a fresh loan wid a higher rate of interest!!! Stupidity right??? Yeah.. but what the hell.. it is my bike and my loan and my stupidity!

2) I want to take up photography seriously and my current photography is wid my 2MP cellphone camera. I know this is not that great. I want to buy a DSLR camera and become click happy wid nature and wildlife and people and all other stuff.. Is it coz I have been roaming and interacting wid the same kinda people or is it really a part of my passion?? I have the passion for photography and I am equally interested in viewing photographs... But is an investment of 45K worthwhile for this passion which I am not even sure?? And when would I get time to pursue this hobby of mine? And would I be able to sustain my interest for a pretty long time to make it worthwhile??

3) I need to buy a bullet 500 CC bike or atleast a 350 CC bike to take on long rides.. The mileage would not be worth it but yet, the feel is good.. so, ditch the mileage. But the cost of this bike is a min. of 1 lakh. Is this worth it?? Even if I invest so much, would my mom allow me to go for long rides??? And where all can I go?? How do i park 2 bikes in my current house?? What do I do with this Unicorn??? I am not interested in selling this.. I want to use this as well for the power this gives and to go fast.. bullet for cruising on highways!!

4) I have put this question in my previous blogpost but what the heck, here it goes again. I have, in the past, succumbed to lust and have lost quite a good gal in my life.. but that was quite alright coz I lost her paying heed to her words "not to tell anyone abt our affair!" But again, now, lust is dragging me towards it in full force in multiple directions by multiple people.. Do I chuck our traditional values aside and surrender to lust for the sake of some 45 mins to 1 hour of pleasure? OR Do I still be a traditional guy, be good in the eyes of mom and family members and wait for my gal to come??? I am absolutely uninterested in marriage and since I am only 25, I don't wanna go against the sentiments of Mom to indulge myself in sex. Whatever has happened in the past was due to my innocence/ignorance and now, since I'm more matured, these thoughts!!!

5) What do i want in life?? Go abroad? Earn a lot of money? Complete my PG Degree? Get a home? Take care of mom like none else would? Give prominence to laziness and be the way I am currently? Do puja as what mom wants me to do? Give time for people to realize my worth and come to me??? Or go behind them and force myself upon them?? What abt a 4x4 jeep that I have been thinking abt from time immemorial.. probably from the time that I have thought about a 2 wheeler and then, a bullet?? The two wheeler has become a truth.. Bullet might become a true.. but if bullet becomes true, I am gonna go for the 4x4 jeep.. and Bloody hell, I am getting old.. 25 goddamn years and 5+ years of work ex.. and what is my saving??? Absolute ZERO!!! Shit! I hate life!

But at the end of all these, I ask myself a question.... was the worrying worth it?? Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.. was it worth it??? And am i not happy currently?? I am happy and the worrying is not worth it... I normally don't keep worrying for a long time.. this is one occasion that I am putting my thoughts on the blog!

How many people have come in my life and went by coz of this attitude of mine?? And what if I was not like this?? I would loved to have checked my life like they show in the movie 12B (Tamil). In this movie, the hero misses a bus and is unable to attend an interview. The entire movie goes like what would have happened if he got the bus and attended the interview - that is one part and what would have happened if he missed the bus, missed the interview too... that is the second part!

So, how many parts would i have in life??? Lemme c..

Part 1 --> Scene - Dad resigning from CFTRI --> Dad resigned and here I am in a BD team without any idea of my designation nor a good salary.
What if Dad had not resigned??? What would I have been??? More studious? Spoilt? Engineer? Pilot? Army? Or would I have been a good for nothing vagabond guy? This is completely unknown

Part 2 --> Scene - Dad has resigned and me still in CFTRI School doing my 7th. Mom's insistence to join a different school for high school --> I did not listen to mom's words and here I am in a BD team without any idea of my designation nor a good salary.
What if I had listened to mom's words??? Would I have scored a better percentage in my 10th? Would I have had the need to go for tuitions??? What would I have been??? More studious? Spoilt? Engineer? Pilot? Army? Or would I have been a good for nothing vagabond guy? This is completely unknown

Part 3 -> Scene - Dad has resigned and me studied high school in CFTRI itself, got 79% in 10th. My wish and Mom's agreement to join science in a college of my choice but Dad and Seema's disapproval of our plans citing financial reasons --> I listened to Dad and Seema and studied commerce for PUC in a sonofabitch college in Mysore (DBCC) which threw water on being a pilot or joining the airforce or becoming an engineer or a scientist.
What if I had disagreed with Dad and Seema and gone ahead and proved myself that I did not require tuitions for PUC and had secured a seat in a prestigious college for PUC Science studying maths??? What would I have been??? More studious? Spoilt? Engineer? Pilot? Army? Or would I have been a good for nothing vagabond guy? This is completely unknown

Part 4 -> Scene - Seema's marriage in the midst of PUC - I prayed to God that let a particular alliance work out and that did work out, It is 8 years and Seema is still sufferring occasionally due to her inlaws and more due to her stubbornness to adjust to life.
What if I had not prayed like that or I had prayed for a different alliance or she had said NO to this guy or the guy had said NO to her? Would she have been Mrs VP as she now is??? Would she have got married et all??? Would she have grown softer and milder in her outlook towards life?

Part 5 -> Scene - Completed PUC roaming here and there like a vagabond from that sonofabitch college in Mysore and as a result, managed to scrape through PUC with 64%, was forced coz of this to join B'Com in Mahajana College --> I completed B'com and got a few good friends.. but was again forced coz of the same financial conditions to join a BPO and not study further.
What if I had taken up BBM or some other course and studied further and completed my PGD? Would I still have been a Process Executive and a Team Lead and a BD consultant?? Would I have become a manager earning lakhs and leading the life the way I wanted to lead.. buying a bike, buying a car, buying a camera, going abroad, buying a house, able to give good medical attention to dad and not losing him to some screwball of an infract in his brain!!

Whatever it is.. here i am and am contented for the time being.. Though I get these ostentious wishes and desires and thoughts occasionally, I really do not feel for them!

Glossary of terms... & some random thoughts

2007-10-04T16:34:00.000+05:30

Thank you Snigs.. for giving me so much gyaan abt this glossary!!!

A for Ass,
B for Boobs,
C for Cunt,
D for Dick,
E for Erotica,
F for Fuck,
G for G Spot,
H for Horny,
I for Intestine where all the sperms travel after an anal sex thinking they are travelling “up above the world so high”,
J for Jobs (hand, blow etc),
K for Kinky,
L for Lust,
M for Mach,
N for Narcissist,
O for Orgasm,
P for Pussy,
Q for Queeny,
R for Ruptured vulva,
S for SEX,
T for 'T' of Copper,
U for Ur ass,
V for Virgin,
W for women, a lot of women, and some “wow” effect,
X for 'X' factor and xtacy,
Y for You fuck yourself (which basically means you have been dumped after a good fuck)
Z for those x and y chromosomes which failed to make a baby BOY or a baby Girl but made something else instead.

The best part was of DPS which did not mean Delhi Public School but Dick, Pussy and Sex... LOL!!! No wonder it was such a huge controversy! I don't think there is any person who feels that DPS is an actual school name before thinking about the hugely controversial MMS clip! And that was what started the flurry of MMS clips..

Anyways, off topic, Me in completely contradictory thoughts and feelings... 1. is to go by your gut feeling which requires a lot of guts, show some resistance and be good till u get the person whom you are waiting for! and 2. is to let it all go and take whatever life offers you with open hands and pants and zips!!!

Also, have been thinking about putting my entire life on the blog.. year by year or incident by incident.. but first, b4 i put it on a blog, i'd better put it on paper and read it once to check if it is worth reading or not! Again, i think why should i first put it on paper and then put it on blog??? Afterall it is my blog and it is my life.. why the fuck should i care who reads it and who doesn't??

Anyways, again, Oct seems to be an exciting month and so will November be.. lemme keep my fingers (only my fingers) crossed and hope for the best!!!

Being an Introvert...

2007-09-25T16:52:00.000+05:30

I was suggested this link by a friend of mine. I am an introvert myself and the link just proved it!

I have visited a psychiatrist for my problems without realising that it is quite normal being an introvert! Thanks Prashant for helping me out to realise who I am! :)

Being an introvert is not bad.. On the contrary, many of our celebrities like Thomas Alva Edison, Albert Einstein, Jane Goodall, Harry Potter (though fictional), Steve Martin, Tom Hanks, Mark Twain etc are all introverts.. And as Prashant told me earlier, when you are having thoughts, if you pen them down, it would be productive!

I love to be alone, don't venture too much with a crowd and even when I am with a crowd, I have my own feelings and inner thoughts which will keep me occupied and aloof of what the crowd is discussing.. and many a time, when the crowd is having fun, I have missed out and when I am having fun, the crowd has missed out! :)

I don''t make friends easily and the people whom I consider as friends would be truly my friends.. and I would treasure them next only to my life, no matter even if they have caused me tremendous psychological pain.

I don't speak much and would be a good listener.. but if anyone asks me to speak and I have the mind to speak, I would not stop.. no matter if the topic is going to cause hurt to the other person.

If I go outdoors with a group, then it is mandatory that I go outdoors again with myself..I need a break from the group.. and it might be immediate or it might be late, but I would definitely go out!

The usual assumptions that people make about me are:

Arrogant Bastard
Nerd
I don't like people
I am withdrawn
I am a loner
Reserved and Shy to approach people
Unfriendly

Though all of the above are true... there are quite a lot more to me.

Studious
Responsible
Concentrating
Flexible
Independent
Self-Reflective
Analyze things best before actioning upon them

You want to know if you are an introvert??? Take this test.

No matter who I am, I care a damn for the world and I am happy being wid myself.. That's my best quality ! :o)

Ram Setu -- LOL!!!!

2007-09-25T16:47:00.001+05:30

The Lord surveyed the Ram Setu and said "Hanuman, how diligently and strenuously you and your vanara sena had built this bridge several centuries back. It is remarkable that it has withstood the ravages of the climatic and geographical changes over centuries. It is indeed an amazing feat especially considering the fact that a bridge at Hyderabad built by Gammon using latest technology collapsed the other day even before they could stick the posters on its pillars."

Hanuman with all humility spoke "Jai Sri Ram, it is all because of your grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw them in the sea and they held. No steel from TISCO or cement from Ambuja or ACC was ever used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue now."

Ram spoke "Well, Hanuman some people down there want to demolish the bridge and construct a canal. The contract involves lot of money and lot of money will be made. They will make money on demolition and make more money on construction. "

Hanuman humbly bowed down and said "Why not we go down and present our case"

Ram said "Times have changed since we were down there. They will ask us to submit age proof and we don't have either a birth certificate or school leaving certificate. We traveled mainly on foot and some times in bullock carts and so we don't have a driving license either. As far as the address proof is concerned the fact that I was born at Ayodhya is itself under litigation for over half a century, If I go in a traditional attire with bow and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me but Arjun Singh may take me to be some tribal and, at the most, offer a seat at IIT under the reserved category. Also, a God cannot walk in dressed in a three-piece suit and announce his arrival. It would make even the devotees suspicious. So it is dilemma so to say."

"I can vouch for you by saying that I personally built the bridge."

"My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you to produce the lay-out plan, the project details, including financial outlay and how the project cost was met and the completion certificate. Nothing is accepted without documentary evidence in India. You may cough but unless a doctor certifies it, you have no cough. A pensioner may present himself personally but the authorities do not take it as proof. He has to produce a life-certificate to prove that he is alive. It is that complicated."

"Lord can't understand these historians. Over the years you have given darshan once every hundred years to saints like Surdas, Tulsidas, Saint Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even Sant Tukaram and still they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana is a myth. The only option, I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth and set the government records straight once for all."

Lord smiled "It isn't that easy today. Ravan is apprehensive that he may look like a saint in front of Karunanidhi. I also spoke to his mama Mareecha, who appeared as a golden deer to tempt Sita maiyya when I was in the forest and he said that he won't take a chance of stepping on earth as long as Salman Khan is around."

Yay Yay Yay!!!!!!!!!!! Got Work!!! Back to recluse again

2007-09-24T10:36:00.000+05:30

Got work now... no more sitting idle... and would be more that's what I think it is going to happen now.

Me got a system.. Got an internet connection.. And also got to know what this new job might turn out to be... and how many chances I would get to meet and interact with various people and all other stuff.. which I am interested in and which I had earlier spurned and was cursing myself for having spurned the same!

Anyways.. now, I have an option to get back into my recluse! ;) And am happy for that!!!

The coming weeks look hectic.. Lemme c.. gotta pause all my weekend plans for the next few weeks and check! :(

Yay Yay Yay!!!!

2007-09-21T06:15:00.000+05:30

I'm officially "On the Bench" now.. wid loads of time to spare, no work to do!

All these days, I was in a project waiting for the same to kick off and for the client to come over and certify that we are upto his expectations (effectively, the client to come and interview us!)

Now, it has been officially announced that the project has been indefinitely postponed and we would be put in different projects as and when there would be openings.. So, 'm online again having nothing else to do!!! I cannot read any books (hard copy I mean) at the office and I don't have any ebooks here... So, am spending my time online! ;)

Have been reading quite a few blogs these days... and am trying to gather inputs from them... I am in an assumption that I have bettered myself in the terms of blogposts when compared to my initial posts.... lemme c whether I am under an assumption that I have already become a better blogger or is it true!

I've decided not to exist anymore!!!!

2007-09-18T11:56:00.001+05:30

Don't be shocked as to what's come over me... No, am not committing suicide in the sense of putting an end to one's life... I still continue to exist and will continue to be the same bugging bastard that i am!!!

Deeply impressed by this article, I decided to do something on a similar line...... something what I have been trying on and off but wid very less success...I've finally decided to put my existance offline... Out of touch wid everyone who scraps me on Orkut, Out of touch wid anyone who chats wid me thru Gtalk... I will just be a recepient of emails.. will continue giving replies to all the scraps... but as a person, I will cease to exist online!!

How does it work??? Here's how...

1) Never ever Login to Gtalk
2) Sign out of Chat in Gmail (Chat enabled gmail that is)
3) Do not login to Yahoo Messenger
4) Login to gmail once a day and at the same time, check all your scraps on Orkut, read blogs, comment on blogs, check blog for comments, put any new posts..... everything to be done Just once a day and that too, the entire amount of timethat you spend online should be less than 1 hour!
5) Do not call anyone unnecessarily and If anyone calls you, speak intelligently to avoid long unwanted conversations
6) Get back into your recluse

How long is this decision going to be... well.. that is something which I have not thought of.. will try to manage for a pretty long time.. and will, however, as mentioned earlier be in touch but not as much as I am doing..

And as someone was mentioning this off topic.... It would be a difficult and challenging and equally crazy task to put all your thoughts and experiences on blogs.. lemme try that for the nth time... and if it is not goin to work out this time too.. the next time wud be the nth time! ;)

The Art of Kissing.. but just don't stop at kissing! ;)

2007-09-11T15:30:00.000+05:30

I stumbled upon this link which leads to another link and which makes u ponder whether u r right in kissing the way you do.. well, lemme add my two cents to that!

I'm pasting (as usual) from an email.. but will add on later:

Article 1: Statement of Love: The Kiss

1. Kiss on the hand
I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck
I want you
4. Kiss on the lips
I love you
5. Kiss on the ears
I am just playing
6. Kiss anywhere else
Lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes
kiss me
8. Playing with your hair
I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

Article 2: The Three Steps

1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.
2. Guys If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.
3. Guys & Girls Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.

Article 3: The Commandments

1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.
3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

* Remember *

A peach is a peach A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss Without some tongue.
So open up your mouth close your eyes,
and give your tongue some exercise!!!

Now, our dear www gives me more info. here. It is quite funny though, that the first link that u get from Google if you search for KISS is that of a rock band.. I had not heard of this rock band named KISS! ;)

Now, that you have got the idea where I am leading to, it is not always that you get to kiss.. and if you mess up such an opportunity of kissing, u better kick yourself in the ass!

I still remember the first kiss that i got and as Harry Potter says in the "Order of the Phoenix", it was WET! Actually, we were taking a stroll in the campus of the office when we look at each other and the next moment, we kiss.. and I just did not know whether to open my mouth or to use my tongue or how to proceed.. but I gradually improved and now, I don't get so much opportunities to show my expertise!

Anyways, without dragging too much off topic, If you stop just at kissing, it shall be a complete KLPD for you.. contact me in person to know what KLPD is!!!! Not only a KLPD for you, but also for your partner who wud be more interested in you based on the way you kiss.. (Now you get what KLPD is.... smart eh???)

And now-a-days, KISS is a new management funda.. "Keep it Short and Simple" -- 'm not an expert in this field but anyways, nothing is going to happen to anybody if i give my two cents on this. So here goes...

All these days, I used to Kiss with the wrong person at the wrong time in the wrong place...

Before your imaginations run wild, lemme be more clear by giving an example..

At my appraisal table, when i was expected to be more elaborate and tell my appraiser how I have performed, I would have KISSED! ;) So, it was the wrong person - my appraiser, the wrong time - during my appraisal one to one meeting and at the wrong place - Appraisal Room!

And when I actually was supposed to KISS, I would have gone on and on and on just like Atal Behari Vajpayee but without KISSING. Again, an example... During the send off of a colleague or a friend, when there are cakes and other stuff waiting for us and everyone is eyeing them with great interest, me would be rambling on and on and on.. I would not eat the cake or anything else.. so me thinks make the best use of the time! ;)

Now-a-days, 'm so good that I knwo whom, when, where and how to kiss to make the right impact! ;) Any training reqd???

So, whatever it is.. just don't stop @ just a kiss.. proceed to matters further.. and know when to Kiss and when not, whom to kiss and whom not, where to kiss and where not.. that is the most important thing of all...

Hope my kissing guide is as helpful to everyone as it is to me! :)

Blah Blah Blah......... Some more musings

2007-09-11T15:16:00.000+05:30

How do i start??? No, it is not that i don't have anything to say.. i do have a lot to say but how do i put it all to have a post which has a positive outcome?? I have been getting these constricted feelings in my chest on and off and they are coming from the past 3 odd years.. And one common thing with the feeling is that i wud not be having any work... Are the two related?? I dunno.

I have visited a couple of doctors and they say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my heart or lungs.. it might just be a muscular spasm. Though I might be tempted to buy this analysis of theirs for the sake of my family and friends.. my mind feels otherwise.. There should be a reason as to why the spasms are coming so regularly.. more than once a month??? And again, this has been the case from the past two days.. twice in a row!

The whole episode is something like this:
1) Black spots in front of my eyes..
2) Partial blindness and Blurred Vision
3) Severe constricted feeling in my chest accompanied by pain in the lower left portion of my chest - just above the diaphragm.. and No, it is not coz of acidity or gastric..
4) Breathlessness
5) Vision returns to normal, no more black spots, but constricted feeling continues and breathlessness continues
6) The feeling lasts for a couple of hours and then, everything is normal.. I will be able to sit, stand, work, walk, run and jump as usual!

One of the doctors whom I consulted abt 2 and half years back asked me to get an echo done coz he suspected a missed valve beat.. and the echo reported as everything is normal. The other doctor whom I consulted about a couple of weeks back adviced me to visit an ophthalmologist and then to a neurologist to get myself checked for "Atypical Migraine". I have shrugged this off and am just enjoying life the way I was.. enjoying both the pain and pleasure ;)

Yesterday, mom was very worried coz i reached home by 1430 and today, i don't want to give her the same worries.. hence, am just gonna sit @ office working or suffering and am gonna tell lies to my mom... i don't wanna give her much more trouble.. she is already facing a lot and quite some more coz of my attitude towards my life.. and now with Aunt ill and staying at home, I also don't want to be a burden or have more expenses towards medicine, esp. this month when i am already out of money!! And I need to have some more money this time for the festival of Ganesh.

I dunno and I don't care.. as long as I am able to work and love my work, anything is fine!

Manifestations of a Psycho

2007-09-03T20:26:00.000+05:30

I am again wondering what is wrong in me or wid me or how is everything happening to me or how am i able to notice everything that is happening!

All emotions come in a single day... so, unable to change the mood on facebook or update twitter or change the status message on Gtalk!

At times, i feel very senti.. and mental at times
At times, i feel lovable... and at times, lusting
At times, i feel like the entire world is wid me... and at times, against me
At times, i feel like jumping with joy.. and will get into depression the next moment
At times, i feel that i don't wanna socialise and the same moment, I'd be on a call or on orkut scrapping or on gtalk chatting
At times, i feel it better to keep quiet and not speak at all.. and then, i'd be blabberring all round
At times, i feel like running away from the world.. and at times, i feel the world is extremely loveable
At times, i think abt getting A's number and calling her.. and then, at times, i feel that it is not the only thing
At times, i feel like quitting.. and again, i feel like fighting to my level best and to "Push the limits"
At times, i feel rebellious.. .and at times, the most sincere son/brother/relative that people might have
At times, i feel pitiable .. and at times, hideous
At times, i feel as if "jo bhi hota hai, acche ke liye hota hai" and at times i feel.. "yeh sab kyun hota hai???"
At times, i feel that there is none for me, wid whom i can share everything.. and this feeling continues always!

A few of the moods which I have been through in the past 2 days:

Sadist yet Generous
Happy yet Depressed
Angry yet Thankful
Crazy yet Eccentric
Loveable yet Lusting
Talkative yet Silent
Adventurous yet Quiet
Worthy of something yet Undeserving of everything

If you've watched "SPEED" you'll get to know a dialogue... "Poor people are Crazy, Jack, I am eccentric" -- Howard Payne to Jack Travens at the underground rail station after taking Anne for Hostage...

I am unable to decide whether I am crazy or eccentric!!! But one thing for sure.. I am abnormal!

Traffic Chaos!!! 290807

2007-08-30T07:02:00.000+05:30

Last evening, riding back from the office was a real pain.. Took almost 2 hours to reach home - just a distance of 29 kms.... (Avg. speed = 15 kmph!) which is sickening!

And worst of all... survived again! Survived 4 attempts on life! :(

Attempt 1: Was coming on Old Madras Road - somewhere near NGEF Railway lines and saw that there was quite some space on the left corner of the road. It had rained and was also drizzling. Thought I could make it and started behind a Honda Activa. The Activa female made it through, but i was abt to fall inside the ditch which was on the road side.. just coz my rear tyre got into a puddle! I know it was craziness to do this.. but i decided to be in the middle of the road and not take further chances.. It would not have resulted in anything major but just some dirt to the clothes and some damage to the bike!

Attempt 2: This was near Ulsoor lake, just opposite to the philips office. Was going slowly behind a minidor when the guy applies sudden brakes and i am in such a position that if i apply sudden brakes, the guy from behind me wud crash into me and if i keep moving, i'd crash into him.. again.. no major damages but just a long argument wud ensure!

Attempt 3: On Cubbon Road - the parallel road to MG Road. I had somehow dodged the traffic and managed to come all the way front here.. but got behind a Maruti Esteem. Though there was a lot of space in front of him and my visibility reducing by the second, this "esteemed" uncle chooses to take a sudden swerve to the left and I end up gaping for breath and space after controlling my bike not to cause any scratches to him or his car!

Attempt 4: Near Malleswaram - this was the best of all... had some free space and was riding almost at 45kmph on a very narrow road.. And i see this huge bus coming at me with his headlights off!! I did not have any other option but to brake and come to the left which ensured a long scratch in the body of the bus caused by my mirror and a scrape to the side of my mirror!

Do I need to take a break from riding to office??? I dunno.. unable to decide!

On a travelling spree - 3 - Trip to Pondi 17/8/7

2007-08-23T19:14:00.001+05:30

Well, My third weekend of Aug saw me going towards Pondi... Was supposed to meet Sanju at her PG and go to Vinayak's place. My time of meeting Sanju was 20:00 but i got delayed and conveyed the message to Sanju.. Surprise was that even she was delayed and we met by 20:45, were promptly picked immediately by Snigs in Vinayak's LOLA!

When we landed at Vinayak's pad for dinner, we had a group of 9 already there and we had to wait for dinner as well as two more people! The plan was to have dinner and push off by 11 so that we reach Pondi for sunrise.The cab arrived on time, but there was a last min plan change and it was decided that we would be taking the Golden Quadrilateral to reach Chennai and then, take the ECR road to go to Pondi.. which meant an xtra 150 odd kms. Vinayak wanted to enjoy the road and his drive on his LOLA.

The route changed and we all were again planning to meet @ 12 for Anupama's b'day celebration. Me, Sanju, Vishal, Anupama, Ayan, Danny, Lavanya and Tanmoy were in the Qualis, with Anupama's Cousin Srividya, Sunil, Snigs, Vinayak and Vinu in Vinayak's LOLA. Since theirs were a private vehicle, they did not get stuck at the checkpost @ hosur. We got stuck and we were having beer when the driver went to pay the road tax. By the time he returned, we had completed our beers and had already wished Anupama. We got to know that the other group was waiting for us 15 kms down the road. We went there and that was our second break for the night! Celebrated the birthday with cake and again, snuggled into the cab. Me, Sanju and Anupama in the last seat... Cannot dwelve into more details here! ;o)

Reached chennai by 7 in the morning after surviving thru the night on the driver's sleepiness, Sanju's nonstop twitterring and a puncture. From there, we reached Pondi by 10 in the morning.. and as soon as we entered Pondi, we felt hot and humid! We checked into YHAI and got a dorm and a single room wid two beds!

Got fresh and started on our local sight seeing.. w t f.. it was blazing hot!! First, thought of sitting and chilling in the promenade bar but this trip, none had any plans.. some wanted to go to the beach (I was one of them), some wanted to take pics of french architecture (I've tried my hand there too!), some wanted to take bikes and roam here and there (me and Sanju along wid Snigs)... We ended up having a break in the group again.. Vinu and Lavanya were looking out for a french to hindi dictionary; Snigs, Sunil and Vinayak checked the Promenade Bar and we others (Ayan, Sanju, me, Srividya, Danny, Anupama, Vishal & Tanmoy) went roaming in the hot pondi sun and finally, settled down for lunch @ Madame Shanthe's.

A few of the Pics of Pondi are here. The landscape near Aurovilli is below:

After lunch, we started towards Auroville and then, to the Auroville beach.. that was a good outing for the day. Then, we came back to Promenade area for dinner. By the time we reached the hostel, i was dead tired and crashed out in the room.. not the dorm. By the time i woke up the next morning, only me, Vishal and Sanju were around. Then Snigs and Vinayak enter.. We start getting ready and have a nice pillow fight.. me, Snigs and Vinayak. Finally, we all, (including the group which had been on a photographical expedition) go to Promenade and have our lunch buffet. The shooters was good there. We all, then, disburse again wid moi, Vishal, Sanju, Snigs and Vinayak off to the beach again.. We had some fun there and when we returned to the hostel, the others wanted to go out for their photographical session again.

We finally left Pondi by 6 or 630.. this time, me, Sanju, Snigs, Sunil and Vinayak in Lola. We took the ECR and came to chennai, lost our way near Guindy, and reached Bangalore finally by 5:15 AM. Had nice fun on the way back, wid Sanju being the DJ, Sunil ripping apart the street and Vinayak, moi and Snigs partying in the last seat!

Sanju, at times, is overly careful and having kept her cellphone which was out of charge inside her camera pouch, she thought she had lost it, cried, created a ruckus, screwed the airtel customer care and finally, had to apologise to all of us!

Moi returned home by 6:30 after dropping a very sleepy Sunil back to his house. The after effects of the trip was that i cud not sit at the office and came back home to crash out! :)

Anyways, it was a great trip!

On a travelling spree - 2 - Trip to Shimoga, Jog Falls, Mattur, Sringeri and Bikkali - 11/8/7

2007-08-21T19:31:00.000+05:30

I dunno if travail is the right word there or not.. but again, as per the dictionary, "Travail" means "Hard Work" and travelling in the last two weeks has really been strenous, enjoyable and a great learning experience.

On 7/8/7, a thought just came to my mind as to how it would be if i went to Jog and my mom's native place which is Bikkali and a few other places nearby taking mom along with me.. And without allowing my mind to think of a second thought of working that weekend of 11th and 12th, I just called Kumar and booked his Sumo for a trip and stressed that I want him and only him for the trip.

Then, thought of asking A to join me, but was fearing what mom would feel. So, after booking the cab, called mom and asked her opinion... Never ever had I heard mom so excited and so happy! That made me feel that it was worth taking that risk. Suggested to mom that we could go out with A, but mom had other plans though! :(

This is NP, Kumar and Me... On the way to JOG.

Mom had immediately called her relatives in Shimoga and ensured that the cab would be more a bus than a comfortable cab! 10/8/7, the 'D' Day, we manage to convince NP to make it to the trip and we all move by 2015. The plan was to go to Shimoga, spend the night there and do a "gaadi katting" by 0700 to reach Jog by 10/11 AM.

In case you are wondering what "gaadi katting" means, lemme explain the same.. In the past, if you remember or if you ask your parents/elders about it, they would travel from place to place only with groups and carrying food, clothing and shelter assuming that they would not come back et all...

The road to Shimoga is good till Arasikere, okayish till Kadur and Birur... But after that, till we reach Shimoga, there is no road et all.. it was all potholes to glory and I could not take any snaps of the road coz it was pitch dark and was rainin too.. Reached Shimoga by 3 AM! We actually left Shimoga by 8 to reach Jog by 12 - completely getting drenched on the way.

I saw a biker - bullet and he too was enjoying his ride wid the rain on the way to Jog! Jog was amazing.. we left Jog to reach Shimoga by 5 and were late... we went to Mattur and from there, we went to Sringeri to spend the night... Kumar would have had a horrible time driving the cab... rain and curves and ghats.. wonder how he drove.. i was feeling very sleepy and slept in the last seat!

Jog was amazing... The picture speaks it all...This pic was taken from Britisher's Bungalow which is on the banks of the river.

Ever since the movie Mungaaru Male was released, everything near JOG Falls is of Mungaaru Male.. from Cucumber to Bajji to Water Bottle to PineApple... Heights of advertising!

From Jog, we went to Shimoga and had nice ice cream to fill the stomach. After that, we went to Mattur. Lemme tell you about Mattur.. this is a place on the banks of the river Tunga. This is a village which is inhabited by only "Brahmins" and the speaking language of the village is either "Sanskrit" or "Sankethi". The villagers are all multi millionaires... and the village does not stretch to beyond two streets!

From Mattur, left towards Sringeri and reached Sringeri by 2230. I had a nice sleep in the last seat of the car and what was real nice about it was that Subha was sleepin by leaning on me.. never had anyone, not even mom or sis, trusted me so much to rest their head on my shoulder!

Sringeri was good, rainy and ultimate to spend time in.. We went to the Vana and spent some time there and then realised that we had to reach Bangalore before it is too late! So, hurried out of Sringeri and left for Bikkali. The pic here is of our ancestral house in Bikkali... I'd never seen it before.. Mom had spent almost the entirety of her childhood here.

Bikkali is a village.. a very small village, not even as famous as Mattur! My maternal ancestors have build a temple there and have been the reason for the improvement of the village and the villagers, but due to some backstabbing, they had to lose everything they had in the village and had to move out. Also, it was surprising to see my mom command so much respect.. the people who came to see mom there were having their faces covered (Coz they were subordinates) and they used to stand at a distance with their hands folded! It was strange!!!

Neways, by this time, everyone was hungry and sleepy as hell... so, everyone clambered back up into the car, NP, Theju, Subha in the last seat; the Aunties in the middle and me and Kumar in the front seat as usual... Drove back all the way to Shimoga and reached Shimoga actually at 1630 instead of a planned time of 1430. Left Shimoga @ 17:30 to reach Bangalore by 00:15 -- Delay courtesy the road and losing our way in Bhadravathi!!!

In all, this trip was a cool one.. but not as cool as the previous one or the next one.. the previous one was the Nandi wala... about which, I have blogged here.

On a travelling spree - 1 - Trip to Nandi Hills - 5/8/7

2007-08-10T06:47:00.000+05:30

This was a long pending trip... Imagine, 25 years of stayin here in Karnataka and haven't visited Nandi Hills even once??? It is 5 years since I stepped foot in Bangalore and the only things that I had heard abt Nandi Hills was what kind of a romantic place it is and how u can spend more than a day without getting sense of the time by boozing there or how u can make the most of your affair or how u can take undue advantage of the girl who has trusted you as a good friend. None had told me how picturesque it wud be along with the mist.

About 6 months back, I was almost near Nandi Hills - on the way to Ghati Subrahmanya when this thought came into my mind of taking a friend of mine to Nandi Hills. The both of us were riding together to Ghati when I asked her whether she'd be interested to go to Nandi Hills. Probably, she had heard about the same things what I heard of about Nandi Hills and she confided her fears in me... and we avoided Nandi Hills.

Last week, NRNP had a few frends who visited Nandi and had returned with the photos. Both me and NP were amazed by the pics and we decided on the spot that 5th would be our visit to Nandi Hills. We kept up to our commitments about the ride and spent the night at our house, planning for the next day. What we did not plan was probably the most crucial of all... the finance for either booze or petrol and what I did not foresee was the amount of petrol available in my bike.

We left for Nandi with me carrying 95 bucks and NP bringing 100 bucks.. -- A total amount of 195/- which is nothing! On the way to Nandi, I realised that probably, the amount of petrol in my bike wud not be sufficient to go to Nandi and return. I went to a reliance petrol bunk on the way and they did not accept my card. Hence, I had to be satisfied with a petrol to the tune of 50/-... we were then left with 145/-. At that time, none of us knew that we wud repent later for not carrying enough money with us.

We were chilled to the bone when we reached Nandi after riding thru clouds and rain in the hills... The road condition is gud and the number of vehicles coming back from Nandi at the time proved that all the stuff I had heard about Nandi was true. The cars, the bikes, the chicks, the way the people rode.. it was quite exciting.. Also, we were two guys riding on individual bikes to Nandi... I dunno what all thoughts might have crossed their minds.

We were the only persons going TOWARDS Nandi Hills at that time and what we cud not have imagined that there were a lot of people already there or some more wud overtake us at the spot where we had stopped for taking a view of the breathtaking scenery below us.

A few of the pics of the trip are available here. All the pics are available in kodak gallery.

Lemme come back to the trip.. we had left my house by 0545 and had reached there by 0645, completely wet. The parking for one bike is 15/- and that left us with 110/-. The entrance ticket for one person was 5/- and that left us with 100/-. Beer and other drinks were being sold there.. The both of us did not bother and we just entered the hills with 100/- in our pockets, our minds full of happiness seeing the mist, and we being physically drenched in the rain and shivering!

We started our ascent and we went to a point where we found that there was a huge crowd of people sitting and having fun on the rocks. We thought we might as well go there. We went towards the crowd and actually further from the crowd leaving the guys and the chicks @ peace. That was probably the beginning of our fun... Within seconds, we found ourselves in the midst of a passing cloud. If a cloud passes thru us, we call it mist. If we check the same from either below or above the ground level, it would be displayed as a cloud! That was a realisation that we experienced there.

Nothing was visible, we cud not protect ourselves from the cold or the mist or the dew drops or the rain. And the visibility was like only a few metres.. not even 100mts. We cud not sit there nor go back.. that was our position... Y am i always in the condition of a Dobhi ka kutta???

Then, we repented for not bringing cash enough and the shop there wud not accept cards! Was something like the scene in the movie "Anbe Sivam" - both of us were like Madhavan thinking that Cards would be accepted in all the places which sold booze. We also repented at our thoughts having not brought someone wid us.. it wud have been fun. No wonder Nandi had got the reputation.. the climate above Nandi and the scenery made u really feel so!

It was already 0845 and it was still dark.. visibility was poorer than it was at 0700. We went to some hotel there - Hotel Ranjitha and had our breakfast.. probably, we hogged whatever was hot.. Had an idli-vada, had a bread omelette, had Cup Noodles and finally, had a pulav. The total bill came upto 95/- and we realised that for keeping our helmets in the shop below, we had to pay 10/-. So, we had ended up with absolutely no money in our purses and we were in Nandi Hills, a place without ATMs or shops!!

By 0930, we could see the first streaks of sunlight far away, and that meant the mist around us was rising to become clouds! And lo, by 0933, the entire mist had cleared and we cud see a lot of land below us! Just in three minutes... that was not any scene from NGC or Discovery channel... It had happened right in front of our eyes!

Tired and worn out, we wanted to visit Tipu's Drop. We walked half the way towards the exit and then found a detour to Tipu's drop which led us back exactly to the place which we first had visited on the rocks far away from the crowd! So, in order to make that worthwhile, we trekked thru the forest and the hills back to the exit. We left Nandi by 10:45 and reached my house by 12, after having had an exhilirating experience with absolutely not even a rupee left in our pockets. The both of us had made complete use of the "chutta" in our purses to pay for our helmets!

Whatever it was, it was an experience which gave us a lot to learn and also a most required change from the busy lives in Bengaluru! I hope I can make this trip again with someone spl. and make complete use of the climate! Lemme keep my fingers crossed till such a day.

Fei Fie Fo Fum......... Nothin new :( Ho!! Hmmmm!!!!

2007-08-03T07:14:00.000+05:30

Ganesh is making me realise that life is just fun... sometimes, you make fun of it and sometimes, it makes fun of you! Yesterday, it made nice fun of me...

Yesterday, someone invites me for a disc and I had alternate plans for today evening in which I was supposed to show a cousin around Bangalore. So, I ditched the offer. A childhood friend of mine had to visit the US and would not be returning for atleast 2 years but due to some unavoidable circumstances, I could not send him off at the airport! I end up having an argument with one of my best frenz when i met her after almost 6 months. She stays in Delhi and had come over for an interview. I cud have rather kept quiet and let her speak, but me and my big mouth would rarely listen to my mind.. they just continued blabbering and the result was a worthless argument... Though, at the end of it, none of us minded, none of us felt bad.. (or am i assuming stuff here, just coz I did not feel bad? ) And I had taken an hours permission from my office to visit her.

At office, there were some startling revelations too.. more than 17 people in my team of 22 don't know a basic stuff of handling a sales device and they are supposed to train completely unknown people how to use this device... I was really shocked and amazed at the same time and also felt it amusing as to what the fcuk i was doing all these days with this wonderful team of mine.. we've decided to give them 7 days time and after that, in case they don't come up to the mark, we'll be putting them on the bench and not taking them out on the rollout!

Yesterday was Sankasti and I was fasting just coz of Ganesh. I used to have a complete fast earlier, but yesterday, I drank some water in the first half of the morning. I dunno if it was because of that or because I like HIM that I survived an accident last night at Hudson Circle.. Nothing actually happened but there was this person speeding and jumping a signal and I started moving forward when the signal was Green... He came and banged into my bike and fell on the street and I parked my bike aside the road.. Nothing happened to my bike, Nothing happened to me but a few scratches.... But why did the accident happen? coz I drank water or why did nothing happen? coz I like HIM? Would give my bike out for servicing today in order to make it ready for tomorrow and Sunday's expedition.

I rode back carefully enough and reached home by 2215 hrs. Today, I am suffering a lot of pain in my right shoulder and right upper torso (not again!!!) The first time it happened, it was so severe that i could not hold a pen, let alone a mouse and I could not type.. It was due to Cervical Disc Prolapse and I have spent more than 15 days in a hospital with a traction of almost 8 kgs hanging from my neck! -- This was when Dad was alive :)

Anyways, whatever happens happens for the guud.. I was supposed to give my bike out for servicing about a month back, but had postponed it.. Today is the right time to give my bike out for servicing.... Lemme check the quality of the ride after the Castrol Bike Zone service... and what's a better way to check the quality of the ride than taking it out on a long ride? That's precisely what I am planning to do.. take it out till Nandi Hills to celebrate the Friendship day on Sunday. Yeah Yeah.. some people never change and I am one of them!!! No matter how many accidents I face, I love my bike and I love biking... It gives me that kind of a thrill that no matter in what kind of stage my mind is, I'll feel exhilarated.

And in case something terrible had happened to my bike or to me which results in me not using the bike for more than 10 days , it would have been a demeantor attack.... I have already survived the Demeantor's Kiss when I met wid my first accident and broke my left wrist - a duration of 45 days without my bike... :( [As per JK Rowling, none would survive the Demeantor's Kiss... Am I a Harry Potter in the making???]

Maths and Alphabets.. Amazing

2007-07-30T21:49:00.000+05:30

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999
(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)

And

Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting .

NOTE: The above holds good only for "US" counting System and not "Arabic" i.e., only while you count 100000 as '100 Thousand' and not a 'Lakh'.

My Weekend

2007-07-29T18:55:00.000+05:30

Weekend??? It is no longer good for me...

For quite many days, I used to enjoy the weekends but these days, I am left wondering what would be wrong if there was work (and of course, if you get paid for it!) all 7 days a week...

I had to miss the Bar Camp :( --- that too, for the sake of some puja happening in Mysore.

However, there were some good parts to this.. I rode all the way to Mysore enjoying the road, the rain and the climate... Took time off to visit KRS:

The water level is too high... and it is just amazing to see the amount of water.. But again, felt bad coz the people (many of whom are educated and had visited in all latest model cars) did not bother about the cleanliness of the place and the bin for their waste materials (like paper, plastic, cartons, tetrapacks) was the water... :(

I am unable to blame the people too.. coz the park (Brindavan Gardens) is still incomplete and there is some development works happening... and the worst part of it all is that there are no restrooms/dustbins... Fortunately for me, I did not see anyone peeing in the water.. If it were not for the crowd, people might have done that too...

Well, I kept wondering why the Govt. allowed the opening of the park when the works are still happening? It was closed for some months due to:
1) Threat by Terrorism to blow-up the dam - Though I could enter it previously freely.. the pics would be uploaded sometime soon
2) The contract of taking care of the plant was given to some private guy and had expired. The new tenders were called for and there was some hungama taking place for that.

Anyways, Coming back to why my weekend was screwed.... I was forced to stay at my sisters.. and i wud have gladly done so if it was not for her inlaws. I am a person who prefers freedom and in their house, it is like getting bogged down by everything... I bought the HP7 and reading that was a problem for them, having breakfast/lunch/dinner is a problem, waking up on time is a problem, taking bath is a problem.. i dunno why or how the fcuk did all the above daily stuff cause problems for them... I stayed there one night (Friday) and the next night (Saturday), I stayed at Madhu's place... No dinner anywhere on Saturday :(

Sunday was the Puja... went there as late as possible - by 11ish, had lunch and left immediately to Bangalore.. My mood was so screwed up that I ripped the 140 kms in almost 120 mins.. (actually, earlier than that.. but chose to take a deviation thru Bengaluru University and was delayed due to some construction happening there). Overtook 3 Volvo Buses, got drenched in the rain, got splashed by a puddle of water while overtaking a few vehicles together... But it was quite a good ride back home (though as unsafe as it might be).

Mangana kelsa.. Disturbing indeed

2007-07-25T11:55:00.001+05:30

I saw an incident today morning near Lalbagh West Gate and it is just a co-incidence that today's edition of the Bangalore mirror contains a post on the similar lines.

For all those people who might be wondering what this Mangana Kelsa is all about.. Mangana means "Of a Monkey" and Kelsa means "Work"... so, Mangana Kelsa means "Work of a Monkey"/"Monkey Business"

I googled to find if there is any softcopy of the article available on the web, but could not find any to give a link here. However, the article is on Page 8 of Bangalore Mirror with the title as "Manga checks in" - in the lines of "Dunston Checks Inn".

As per the article in the news paper, the monkey menace is mostly in residential areas affecting households but today morning's incident made me think that the monkey menace is much deadlier than that. The article says that there is only one monkey catching squad in Namma Bengaluru. With BMP changing to BBMP, having only one monkey squad is not good. Even in a small city like Mysuru, where I did all my schooling and spent the golden days of my life, there were 3 monkey squads.. (I am talking abt a period prior to Y2K).

We had a huge house there with 3 coconut trees and the monkeys used to loot the coconut trees.. and we were not scared of them coz they never used to harass any human.. We did have some funny moments with the monkeys by either throwing them a ball to catch which the monkey used to catch, try to bite and then, throw it back at us; or by leaving a mirror outside on the Pyol of the houses so that the monkey used to look at its reflection and get scared the first time, then, enjoy its looks and finally, keep the mirror back there from where it took the mirror.. and we used to see all these from the next window. It was real fun.

Now, due to the encroachment and the rapid development, Monkeys have considered Humans a threat and are now attacking the humans. We are also responsible for the "threat" of monkeys as we did feed them and we do tease them or "threaten" them with stones/sticks. As far as I know, no animal "attacks" unless provoked - and the only animal who is known to attack without getting provoked is "Homo-Sapiens".

However, as recently as a couple of months back, a two-month old baby girl was mauled to death by a few monkeys in New Delhi. That might have caused chaos in Delhi and surrounding places and in the mindsets of the people having accessed the news which was indeed glorified by our esteemed MEDIA!

There was this guy coming in a bike from Teachers College Signal towards the Lalbagh West Gate Circle when he was "approached" by two monkeys crossing the road. This guy was forced to apply brakes and the result was that the monkeys got away, but our guy faced it literally. It all happened in a split second. The monkeys crossed the road and entered Lalbagh, our guy was found sprawled on the road gasping for breath and nursing some serious injuries on his arms, face and legs... His bike was spoilt - got scratches all over it and lost its good looks. Thankfully, he was wearing a helmet and nothing untoward happened there.. But the pain of the impact is going to remain for a very long time and I am sure he would remember this incident forever, and he would become hostile towards Monkeys just because of this incident.

Who was responsible for this incident? The speeding guy or the innocent simians who crossed the road or the person on the other side of the road who felt threatened by the monkeys and shooed them away?? That was what I was precisely thinking all the way to my office.

This does not mean that we need to love the monkeys.. We could be atleast so good to the monkeys that we leave them alone instead of disturbing them and "threatening" them...... And coming to the topic of loving them.. Never Ever Kiss a Monkey coz..............

BLOG-A-LOREANS MEET - PICS

2007-07-24T22:05:00.000+05:30

The start of it all.. we have all met and are going through an ice-breaker and Sanjukta is listening intently on the top left corner of this pic

That's AJ, Shobha and Snigdha listening intently to the intro part.. I think Neha was introducing herself.. I have a very poor memory u know

That's Arun, giving us all some piece of gr8 and valid information.. again, don't ask me what that was...

This is Jayanth, introducing himself as the Prankster who accidentally fudged with the Wiki

Ashwin's T'Shirt.. Half of the people were looking at his backside at this quote... Pun Intended
Inside BrewHaHa, found this design, simple but effective.. The pillar was bound by rope (which we still use in villages for lifting water from wells
The front-side of Ashwin, explaing with great enthu about WINGS

Random Thoughts - Utterly miserable feelings

2007-07-23T17:42:00.001+05:30

Just a few thoughts that have passed through me on Saturday and Sunday.....

Was it fair on my part to take unauthorised liberty of my being the whole and soul of this office and attending the Blog-A-Loreans meet Saturday?
Was it fair on my colleagues who just fled the office on that day coz I was not @ office?
Was it fair again on my part to give an early EOD for the people coz none of us know about our where-a-bouts on 28/29 July.
Am I taking advantage of Narayan's goodness that I'm forcing him to accompany me to wherever I go and do only whatever I want? Though he does the same happily...
RKP is having some problems and is not willing to share them... I am not used to him musing on something and I want to be wid him to bring him back to his good old sense.. am tryin but unable to....... coz the both of us r unable to meet each other personally. Everytime i call him, he says it provides him some relief, but I am of the opinion that a face 2 face interaction is reqd. to get rid of all troubles at once.
Am I going to know something about our future? Are we actually going to get some work or are we going to sit jobless?
Why has she stopped talking to me? What wrong did I do? When?
She was admitted to a hosp and I did not know what to do? Do I visit her or not? Do I meet her or not? Will she like it if I met her?
I did not meet her and is that the reason she started interacting wid me normally? Though I still don't have her contact number..
Why r others also not speakin to me or interactin wid me? Is it that I am not worth being cared for? Or is it that I am too confident and I show myself too confident that none feels like thinking abt me or carin for me?

I know all the above would come under Rants.. but I am just giving a vent to my thots.. no matter who reads my blogs or what they think of me...

I remain...

EGOISTIC!

Blog'A'Loreans Meet finally happens

2007-07-23T16:22:00.001+05:30

After all the excitement that was on this bloggers meet happening, the meet happened finally on 21st Jul (Saturday). As usual, I was caught in a confusion.. To be there or Not to be.. as I had my office without anyone to take care of it and I also had the meet in which I was very interested in and had already confirmed my presence.

Torn apart between my official commitments and my wish to attend the blog-a-loreans meet, I finally decided to throw caution to the winds and attended the meet (Though I paid heavily for it later!)

Went searching for the place - BrewHaHa which is a joint near JyotiNiwas College. Enroute to the place, I almost had a change of thought not to enter the restaurant coz it was closing time of the college ;) However, I parked my vehicle and met Sridhar first along with Saurabh, Jerry and Tanay. Then, the crowd started coming in... Sanjukta, Snigdha and Prathama came next and a couple of German Bloggers too joined us.

By the time we settled down (As in squatted on the carpet), there were quite a few people (around 20 odd). Then, the final count was more than 45... which was an amazing turnout. Kudos to Sanjukta who took pains in organizing this meet. Organizing is a huge responsibility and she was able to pull off this one!

Dhivya walks in brandishing the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows book... Hopefully, she did not think of it either as a wand or as a parchment to do lines :) The attention shifted for sometime but did come back to the Bloggers Meet though. I wanted to have a sneak peek at the book, but decided to wait for 2 more days as I'll be getting the book either this weekend or the next! It has been bought already, delivery is pending... Bought the book with the help of my sister in Mysore.

As in any meet, the introduction session first happened and by the time it completed, we were supposed to place our orders. There started the confusion and the chaos of orders. Someone wanted HOT Coffee, someone else wanted COLD, someone wanted one particular drink in HOT and not the other... This went on.. I, though did not contribute to the chaos... :)

Then came the main part of planning for the BAR Camp. We did think of some topics though, but I was, as usual, like a dobhi ka kutta, na idhar kaa... na udhar kaa. I was interested in the discussions that Hari and others had about the bar camp and also interested in the Bar Camp agenda. So, got some info abt that too.... And in any case, I am supposed to get Sudheer to the bar camp to have a discussion on the CyberLaw (Information Technology Act, 2000) and its impact on blogging.

I'm surely goin to trouble other people again to help me out in:

Improving the quality of my posts
Blogrolling many blogs in mine (I seriously have no idea what a blogroll is or how it works... Sorry if I've made any goofups in this!)
Giving me topics to post on! :)
And again... helping me out to know if any post should be titled such a way that if it is googled for, my blog displays there :)

I got a call from one of my colleagues in the office by 13:40 and I had to leave immediately to the office coz there was a plan from all my colleagues to leave early that day... Why don't people understand that they are being paid for working and not skipping work??? I am not sure.. coz I am a work-a-holic! ;)

Tried to blog wid pics here, but pics are @ home.. would try and add them by tonight by editing the posts..... Lemme c what happens.. Future is uncertain...

A few more of my musings about the happenings of this weekend are here.

5 years.... On reminiscing.. it is quite a long time! (Part 2)

2007-07-11T13:40:00.001+05:30

Continuing..........

YEAR 4 - 2005-06

1) First implementation/rollout visit to Pune.

2) First experience staying at a five-star hotel.

3) Fallout with my manager/team coz i was supposed to go back to the BPO when I was told that I'll be put into the IT company process.

4) Quit that company to join my present company - Lost 3 years and 8 months of experience just coz of one silly decision not to wait for the experience certificate and join this company immediately :( Learnt an invaluable lesson out of this...

5) Worked in a dingy 6x6 room -- there were 14 of us squeezed in there.. and this was near MG Road... imagine.

6) Took my first leave in the new company to perform Dad's one year anniv.

7) Office shifted to whitefield.. relived the same experience of travelling (this time by a sumo) to that distance..New office was spacious for all of us..

8) Cousin and me were caught by a drunk constable and we bribed him 30/- just coz we moved when the signal was YELLOW and not GREEN! & this was on Jan 1st (Sunday) :(

9) Bought my bike.. Lovely experience of riding! (If Dad was alive, he wud not have allowed me to either change the company or buy a bike... took complete advantage of his death!;) )

YEAR 5 - 2006-07

1) My first long ride... all the way to Mysore... Enjoyed the ride to the core and the rush of adrenalin made me take a few more of those rides, alone at times, with a cousin twice... it was as if the 140 kms distance was nothing at all.... and i have covered the distance twice in 2 hours or less, and all the times in less than 2 1/2 hours.

2) My first accident on my bike... and had to spend almost 45 days without touching the bike... That was really hard! I was obsessed and addicted to my bike!

3) My new team... I can boldly say that it is my team coz I was given a growth here.. and was a Team Lead there.. it is a completely different experience leading a team coz u r not only responsible for ur actions, but also have to be responsible for ur teams actions and I believe I've done good here. You should also be accessible to your team so that they come up to you and tell the hardships that they might be facing.

4) I dunno but this kept happening to me.......... another set of fallouts.. both personal and official.. with Sis, mom, cousin, best friend, team, team lead (of the second shift), manager, client, client manager....... GAWD!! thinking back on that gives me the shocks!

5) My days of begging and beseeching the client managers, no matter even if my team had performed absolutely well... Shit, I had to get out of that!

6) My first scuffle of words - it became almost physical with the team lead of the second shift... probably, this caused it all... and i got a change.

I'm now into a different project, enjoying every minute of my work and life.. being both happy and sad.. happy coz I got whatever I expected and happy again coz I have been recognised!

Thanks everyone... for just being there, encouraging, discouraging, irritating, scolding, loving, hating, fighting, kidding, teasing, inspiring.... the list can go on and on and on......................

ADDENDUM

Din't realise... but this is my 100th post!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations Suks... :)

My take home from the Blog'A'Loreans meet on 7/7/7

2007-07-11T13:10:00.001+05:30

1) Blog, don't bother about your visitors or your topics.. just blog (was trying to do that, but was unable do make up my mind! )

2) Use the Microsoft Windows Live Writer... so that you can use this as a notepad and at the same time, publish it directly on to the web... this is my 4th post in 3 days using Live Writer.

3) Meet and Interact with various people... don't bother if u cannot speak in front of them... just listen patiently (Whenever I wanted to meet, I used to speak out and show my stupidity!) ;)

4) Realise that u r not upto the standards of a technical blogger and u r in the "Trishanku" swarga... na idhar ... na udhar.. na technical... na professional.. (u r like a dobhi ka kutta.. na ghar ka...na ghat ka! )

5) Don't wait for visitors/comments.. just complete what u have in mind..

6) Ensure that you attend the future meets of Blog'A'Loreans to learn more. :)

Is India a truly secular country?

2007-07-10T11:44:00.001+05:30