Yesterday, Mom came back from Mysore. For the previous two weeks, I was alone. I am a kind of person who enjoys being alone. I think that there is a great deal of independency being alone. I also feel that the amount of responsibility that you have when you are alone will not continue if you have a family. Of course, the responsibility when you have a family will be different, but you somehow lose your independence.
I went through a mixture of emotions yesterday morning when my mom called me to tell me that she’s on her way here. What happened actually was…..
I received a call by 08:30 from my sister telling me that Mom would be coming by 15th or so. Even Mom told me the same. I was extremely happy that I could spend one more week alone…. Enjoying life and leaving the office late, coming back on time, taking a few risks or venturing into new horizons by going to the office through different areas and different buses than the same old one. By 13:15, I again receive a call instructing that I need to stay at home coz my Mom is on her way to Bangalore. I just felt my happiness leaving me (a sort of dampness came over) just of realizing that I am not going to stay awake late or try out new stuff or enjoy my freedom.
When I sit back and think, my mom coming over is actually good for me coz I am not supposed to carry the house keys (a heavy pair of them) to the office, no need for me to go to someone else’s house for breakfast/lunch/dinner esp. during weekends, I need not spend more money on food (cafeterias/restaurants). I need not worry about someone visiting our house in my absence; I need not worry about missed calls to the landline of our house.
I still am unhappy in some sort that my Mom has come back. Does this happen to everyone or am I peculiar??? I cannot show my unhappiness, nor can I ask my mom to go away. I know that it is my responsibility to take care of her till her time. I’m confused!!!!!
I went through a mixture of emotions yesterday morning when my mom called me to tell me that she’s on her way here. What happened actually was…..
I received a call by 08:30 from my sister telling me that Mom would be coming by 15th or so. Even Mom told me the same. I was extremely happy that I could spend one more week alone…. Enjoying life and leaving the office late, coming back on time, taking a few risks or venturing into new horizons by going to the office through different areas and different buses than the same old one. By 13:15, I again receive a call instructing that I need to stay at home coz my Mom is on her way to Bangalore. I just felt my happiness leaving me (a sort of dampness came over) just of realizing that I am not going to stay awake late or try out new stuff or enjoy my freedom.
When I sit back and think, my mom coming over is actually good for me coz I am not supposed to carry the house keys (a heavy pair of them) to the office, no need for me to go to someone else’s house for breakfast/lunch/dinner esp. during weekends, I need not spend more money on food (cafeterias/restaurants). I need not worry about someone visiting our house in my absence; I need not worry about missed calls to the landline of our house.
I still am unhappy in some sort that my Mom has come back. Does this happen to everyone or am I peculiar??? I cannot show my unhappiness, nor can I ask my mom to go away. I know that it is my responsibility to take care of her till her time. I’m confused!!!!!
Comments
some times if we think we cannot take care of some one, pay enough attention to some one, we may tend to avoid them out of our love for them.
I appreciate your open ness. But what you undergo is a typical stage in life. You will grow out of it. You need new people, experience enter your life to change the colors of your day to day life.
The lady that did my eyebrows told me that the day her son went to school was the happiest day of her life!! People can wear you down. I guess thats why retreats are popular.